The Life and Adventures of Guzman D'Alfarache, or the Spanish Rogue, vol. 3/3

by Mateo Alemán

I lived most delightfully with my new landladies; they endeavoured to anticipate my every desire: in short, I was the master of the house. This life lasted for about three months, at the expiration of which time I began to talk of marriage. We soon came to terms; and, by way of making a greater fool of myself, I expended a considerable sum of money in wedding clothes. One would have thought that I had cart-loads of money; though, to say the truth, I was almost at my last shift.

My mother-in-law, who was a good sort of woman, very easily led away by finery, seeing the fine show I made, thought that I was of course possessed of considerable property, and that the fortune of her whole family was made by obtaining me for a son-in-law. As it was necessary that a young man should be employed, she proposed to me to apply myself to physic, telling me that it was a very lucrative profession, and that if her husband had been more assiduous in it, he might have left his widow and children much better off than they were. To induce me to follow her advice, she offered me all Doctor Gracia’s books and memoranda, not doubting, as she said, that with such assistance, and my excellent understanding, I should soon become an excellent physician. To gratify her wishes, I was complaisant enough to study for about six months under some of the most famous professors of medicine; but their lessons were not at all to my taste, and I soon became disgusted with a study which at the best could only maintain me in my old age. I pretended, therefore, that I had received letters from one of my friends, offering me a lucrative post at Madrid, in which I could not fail to grow rich in a very few years. I imparted this news to my mother-in-law, who, believing it to be true, was the first to recommend me to accept the situation, much as she really regretted the loss of my society.

The aversion I felt for the study of medicine was not the only reason for my wishing to leave Alcala. My finances were now at a very low ebb, and I did not wish to expose my poverty in a place where I had hitherto been considered in easy circumstances. In addition to this, I must inform you, that Donna Maria, since her marriage, had thought proper to renew an intercourse with certain students whose tender attentions she had formerly encouraged. This was the more provoking to me, as she could expect no grateful acknowledgments from such gallants but serenades and boxes of sweetmeats. I was by no means satisfied with such empty profits; for it appeared to me, that a husband who kindly condescended to shut his eyes to his wife’s gallantries, deserved at least that abundance should reign in his house. I resolved, therefore, to leave a place where my wife had formed such bad acquaintances, and to establish ourselves, at Madrid, where much better were to be met with.

Being quite prepared for the journey, we bade adieu to our friends and family, and set off in a genteel equipage for that city, so justly called the refuge for the destitute, Madrid. I had entirely broken with my father-in-law, Don Andrea, on the occasion of my second marriage, which I had contracted contrary to his advice. I thought no more of him; and as to my creditors, as I had still two years before me, I troubled myself but little on that head, nothing doubting, that before they could legally annoy me again, I should either make some lucky hit, or my wife’s beauty would enable us to form, far enough out of their reach, a solid establishment.

A poor devil of a merchant from Alicant was the first who fell into our snares. Unfortunately for him, he had joined us on our route, and having seen Donna Maria, conceived a violent love for her. We clearly perceived this, when having arrived at Madrid, he compelled us, as it were, to stop at the inn where he lodged; and he assured us we should find every thing most comfortable. “The landlady,” said he, “is one of the best women in the world. She has most excellent apartments, and a most famous cook.” There was no resisting the earnestness of his entreaties, which sufficiently betrayed the goodness of his intentions. We were, therefore, easily persuaded, and were conducted to the inn, where we were exceedingly well received by the landlady, who appeared to us to be really respectable, and very much the friend of the merchant. She allotted to us one of the best apartments in the house, and tendered her services most obsequiously on any occasion that we might require them.

Our travelling companion requested that we would leave to him the care of providing a good supper for us; in which office he acquitted himself like a rich man who wished only to please. He spared nothing during the meal to gain my good graces. He paid much more attention to me than to my wife, perhaps imagining that I was the most likely to oppose his design. After supper, I inquired what was to pay, and was answered that every thing was settled. I was overjoyed; but to let him see that I knew how to treat as well as he did, I invited him to dine with me the next day, and in the mean time sent orders to the cook to prepare an excellent dinner for three persons. It is true, that I fully intended he should pay for it; and, accordingly, no sooner was dinner over, than I went out under pretence of having some important business at the court end of the town, requesting him to excuse me, and to be so kind as to keep my wife company in my absence. This exactly suited him as well as me. Donna Maria, although sufficiently adorned by her natural beauty, had passed the whole morning in adding to it all the charms that could be borrowed of art, so that she appeared indeed more lovely than usual. She proposed to play to pass the time, and won a hundred ducats of our visitor, which he was obliged to lose to her out of gallantry.

This was nothing to what followed; for beginning to be more liberal in proportion as he became deeper in love, he put himself to a frightful expense. He presented my wife with several magnificent dresses, and a quantity of jewels. He conducted her sometimes to the promenade, sometimes to the theatres, and treated her and me every day in the most profuse manner. All this generosity on his part, you will say, could not be for nothing. I believe so as well as you. Donna Maria was naturally of too grateful a disposition not to make some return for such attentions. But I cared little or nothing about that. The husband of a coquette, when he is in indigence, and finds his account in allowing his wife to flirt, ought at least to be complaisant. The only fools are those gallants who purchase so dearly of him favours of which he is surfeited. As for me, I soon found myself by my prudent behaviour in a most enviable situation. We soon left our lodgings, and took a whole house to ourselves to live at greater liberty, ornamenting it with the most elegant furniture, which Signor Diego (for that was the merchant’s name) had the kindness to pay for. What a joyful life did we there lead! good cheer, love, and indeed every pleasure were ours.

The merchant could not be better satisfied than he was with his lot, and we were equally so with ours. Concord and peace reigned in our little abode, when a young German nobleman, handsome, well made, and with a grand equipage, chanced to see my wife at the playhouse with Signor Diego, and thought her so handsome, that he was most anxious to know who she was. Her superb dress and noble air impressed him with the idea that she was a lady of quality, while, on the other hand, the looks and dress of the merchant were by no means prepossessing. He knew not what to think of such a couple. At first he took Diego to be an attendant upon the lady; but the familiarity with which he treated her made him think at last that he must be her husband. To ascertain the truth, he caused her to be followed after the play by a clever valet, who returned with a faithful account of her situation; and the German, from his report, doubted not that he should soon be able to supplant the ugly merchant in her good graces.

To bring this about, he had a private conference with our late landlady, whom, by dint of presents, he soon gained over to his interests. This woman, from whom we had parted on good terms, was in the habit of calling upon us occasionally. One day, in a private conversation with Donna Maria, she drew so flattering a portrait of the German, that she engaged her to take a walk with her, unknown to Diego, where that young gentleman met her as though by chance. In addition to his fine figure and natural beauty, his manners were agreeable and insinuating. My wife took a fancy to him at first sight, and he did not, therefore, long languish. The proofs of gratitude of this gallant were not like those of Don Diego; but purses of a hundred doubloons each, valuable diamonds, superb tapestry, and rich plate. As soon as we found that this young nobleman was so prodigal of his riches towards us, we attached ourselves to him, and began to neglect our citizen of Alicant most outrageously. Donna Maria even favoured his rival in his presence.

Signor Diego was not deficient in pride. He was one of those rich merchants who look upon themselves as persons of quality. Not being willing to suffer that any one should be preferred to him after what he had done for us, he began to murmur. From murmurs he proceeded to reproaches, and from reproaches to threats. His passion excited my anger, and I told him that I chose to be master of my own house, and begged he would give himself no airs. He had not expected that I should have assumed so high a tone; and judging from that circumstance, that instead of my having been his dupe, he had been mine all the while, he wisely resolved to withdraw, which he did, bursting with rage and spite, instead of returning a thousand thanks to Heaven for having delivered him from such dangerous blood-suckers.