Twentieth Century Culture and Deportment / Or the Lady and Gentleman at Home and Abroad; Containing Rules of Etiquette for All Occasions, Including Calls; Invitations; Parties; Weddings; Receptions; Dinners and Teas; Etiquette of the Street; Public Places, Etc., Etc. Forming a Complete Guide to Self-Culture; the Art of Dressing Well; Conversation; Courtship; Etiquette for Children; Letter-Writing; Artistic Home and Interior Decorations, Etc.

by Maud C. Cooke

Entertainments and Calls.

After Entertainments, a card, in large cities, is sufficient, unless it be after a dinner or a wedding reception, when a personal call is made. If the wedding invitations have been to the church only, not including the gathering at the house, some most exclusive people send cards to the bride’s parents, afterwards inviting the young people to their entertainments. But a dinner absolutely requires a personal call.

Even gentlemen, usually so remiss in such matters, are rather expected to leave a card in person after a dinner. Any invitation, however, coming from a new acquaintance, necessitates a personal call, unless the intercourse is not to be kept up. In towns and smaller cities, a personal call is made after entertainments of any size.

After a Tea a visit is paid and thus the visiting etiquette for a year is established. Before the season is over, however, the lady, if she expects to retain her position in society for the next season, must give a tea, or a series of teas, inviting all who have similarly honored her. This must be done before the season closes. Where the tea is not attended, cards should be sent to the house the same day.

Special Receptions, such as those dress affairs given once or twice in a season, require a personal card.

General Receptions, or “at homes,” given in a series, the dates of which are all mentioned on one card, need neither cards nor calls in return. Your presence there is a call in itself. A card may be left in the hall upon the day of reception to assist the memory of the hostess.

Other Hints.

Ladies in a strange city, staying either with friends or at a hotel, are privileged to send cards, giving their address, to any acquaintances, either lady or gentleman, from whom they may wish to receive a call. If desirable, they may send a note in preference, giving date or hour when they will be at home.

Special Pursuits. Ladies having special pursuits, literary, or professional, often permit this fact to cover remission in social demands, in fact do not “visit” at all.

For a Son, upon his introduction to society here in America, there is very little display made. His entrée is usually very gradual, but if he has been closely kept at school his freedom from this is often announced by his mother leaving his card with her own when she makes her visits at the beginning of the season. This is taken as a suggestion that, in future, his name is to be included among the invited members of the family.