Cards for an unmarried gentleman should never be left by a lady, except in the case of his having given an entertainment at which ladies were present. In this case the lady of the house should drive to his door with her own cards and those of her family. Names of the young ladies should be engraved for the occasion upon the card of their mother or chaperon. The cards should be sent in by a servant. If a call is made upon a lady’s regular reception day, it is rude to leave a card only, without entering and inquiring for the hostess. The time spent inside the house may be very brief, but even a few moments will satisfy the demands of etiquette, which without these would be rudely violated.
Cards may be made to accomplish so much of the multifarious duties of society that one can scarcely imagine the social world revolving safely upon its axis without their intervention. Far be it from any to look upon the custom as a hollow mockery, for, without the system of formal visiting, or calling, society as it now stands could not exist. Such, too, are the complexities of modern existence that life would be all too short for the fulfillment of its demands were it not for these useful bits of pasteboard that do so much of our work by proxy and dispose of our undesirable acquaintances so speedily by the simple cessation, on our part, of leaving cards at their door.
Various Cards.
Among the cards as yet not referred to in this department may be mentioned the following:
Cards of Congratulation, such as those sent the parents of a newly-betrothed couple upon the announcement of the betrothal; those sent the happy parents of a lately arrived son or daughter, etc. Cards of this description should be left in person, though it is not expected that you should enter and make a formal visit. The leaving in person, however, is a compliment.
Cards of Betrothal are distributed by the parents of the newly-engaged pair, leaving their cards with their own on all friends of the family. Individuals receiving these cards should call as soon as possible.
Cards of Courtesy are sent on many occasions. For instance, to a house where the children or youth of their family have been invited without including the elders. This is done in acknowledgment of the courtesy extended to their children. Again, a gift however simple, even flowers, should always be accompanied by a card of courtesy. The simple visiting card is usually sufficient, though a “Merry Christmas,” “Happy New Year,” or “Many happy returns of the day,” may be penciled beneath the name. If there are many words to be written, however, a little note of courtesy is far better. (See Notes.) The recipient of the gift should answer by a note of thanks, never by a card simply. Cards should also accompany, or be attached to, flowers sent to a funeral, that the family may know friends remembered them in their sorrow.
Cards of Inquiry are frequently sent, or better still, left in person, at the homes of friends prostrated by severe illness, or by recent bereavement. These usually have the words, “To inquire,” or “With kind inquiries,” pencilled above the name. These are many times a source of relief during the weary days of convalescence, or the heavy hours of seclusion after affliction, when the voices of friends would be too hard to bear, but the thought of their loving remembrance yields a healing balm. In cases of bereavement the cards should be sent about one week after the sad occasion that called them forth.
Acknowledgment of Inquiry Cards.
Cards of Thanks are usually sent out in reply to these cards of inquiry, since the answering in any other fashion would prove too great a task. The regular visiting card may be used in this case, pencilling the words “With thanks for kind inquiries,” or, “With thanks for the kind inquiries of Mrs. ——,” beneath the engraved name; or cards especially engraved for the occasion may be substituted, thus: “Mrs. —— presents her sincerest thanks for recent kind inquiries.” These may be sent by mail, but really should be carried by special messenger. Enclose in two envelopes. There is another method of acknowledging attentions during a period of bereavement, viz., the notice in the daily papers. This, however, does not usually meet with favor in large cities, but the example set by Mr. and Mrs. Secretary Blaine upon the death of their son, is, from its heartfelt pathos, worthy of imitation. The card appeared in all the Washington papers as follows: