Answer decisively as well as promptly. Do not, if there is a doubt as to your being able to attend, selfishly keep the lists open in your favor by suggesting that “You hope to have the pleasure,” etc., or, if married, that “one of us will come.” This is an injustice to those inviting you, who, to make a success of their entertainment, must know at once the number to be depended upon. Say “yes” or “no” promptly and abide by your decision. To do this will, in case of refusal, give time to fill your place at table.
Accepting a Dinner Invitation.
In accepting a dinner invitation the following form is very suitable. This, of course, pre-supposes that the invitation has also been written in the third person. (See Invitations.)
Mr. and Mrs. Harvey Pratt accept with pleasure the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. Paul Potter for dinner on Tuesday, December fifteenth, at eight o’clock. 24 Abercrombie Street. Wednesday.
A gentleman might respond thus:
Mr. Fremont Miller has much pleasure in accepting the very kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. Paul Potter for dinner on Tuesday, December fifteenth, at eight o’clock. Union League Club. Wednesday.
To answer a formal invitation carelessly and familiarly is to show a degree of disrespect to the sender, but, if the invitation be in note form, first person, answer in same fashion, it being usually safe to follow the style of invitation in either accepting or refusing the proffered pleasure.
Never “present one’s compliments” in response to an invitation. It is entirely out of date; neither should one say “the polite invitation of Mr. John Jones.” All invitations are presupposed to be “polite.” “Your kind” or “very kind invitation” is a gracefully-turned and amply sufficient phrase for all occasions.
Declining a Dinner Invitation.
An unexplained regret is often (as before mentioned) wounding to the feelings of a sensitive person, leaving at times the impression that one did not care to come. This can always be avoided by particularizing the cause of refusal. A plea of expected absence, a previous engagement to dine elsewhere, a recent bereavement, or sudden illness in the family, are each of them good and sufficient reasons for non-acceptance and should always be mentioned. Thus, in reply to a formal dinner invitation, a “regret” might be sent in the following terms: