French as She is Traduced. — More Grumbling. — "La Critique" is Not the Critic's Wife. — Bossuet's Prose and how it Reads in English. — Nothing Improves by Translation except a Bishop. — A Few French "Howlers." — Valuable Hints on Translating Unseen Passages.
English boys have invented a special kind of English language for French translation.
It is not the English they use with their classical and other masters; it is not the English they use at home with their parents, or at school with their comrades; it is a special article kept for the sole benefit of their French masters.
The good genus boy will translate oui, mon père, by "yes, my father," as if it were possible for him to forget that he calls his papa father, and not my father, when he addresses him.
He very seldom reads over his translation to ascertain that it reads like English; but when he does, and is not perfectly satisfied with the result, he lays the blame on the French original. After all, it is not his fault if there is no sense in the French, and he brings a certain number of English dictionary words placed one after the other, the whole entitled French.
Of course he can not call it English, and he dares not call it Nonsense.
He calls it French, and relieves his conscience.
[ It ] will take boys long to understand that la trompette, la médecine, la marine, la statuaire, are not respectively the wives of le trompette, le médecin, le marin, le statuaire.
An honest little boy once translated "La critique doit être bonne fille" by "The critic's wife ought to be a good girl."