“Indeed you do,” replied a witty woman, “and so generously, that there is not a particle left for yourself.”

Both May Be Mistaken

Voltaire, while living at Berlin, once praised the poet Haller very much. A gentleman present said: “You praise Haller, while he expresses himself very differently about you.”

“You are right,” returned Voltaire, “but possibly we are both mistaken.”

Very Slow

“What,” cried a young physician, seeing Voltaire drink coffee late at night, “you drink coffee? Why, coffee is a slow poison!”

“I believe you are right there; it must be a slow poison,” replied Voltaire, pouring out another cup, “since I have enjoyed it daily, for about sixty years.”

Stars in the Wrong Places

The great but timid astronomer, Schubert, once acted very awkwardly at a court function. Some one remarked how strange it was to see a great man like that act so strangely. A wag said sarcastically: “It, no doubt, confuses him to see so many stars in the wrong places,” referring to the medals on the gentlemen’s breasts.

All Score