Captain of the Cavalry (playing a duet):—“But my dear lady, you are again a nose-length ahead of me!”

A Strenuous Captain

Lady:—“Please, Captain, play my accompaniment on the piano.”

Captain:—“With great pleasure! I’ll follow you through thick and thin on that piano.”

Not Very Clear

Sergeant (at instruction):—“Muller, what is horizontal?”

Soldier:—“If from the centre of the earth——”

Sergeant:—“Never you mind the centre of the earth; I asked you what horizontal is.”

Soldier:—“Every plain——”

Sergeant:—“Oh pshaw! Now listen! four equally high feet, a couple of boards across them—that’s horizontal.”