Lieutenant:—“I saw you running after a girl last night. It was after ten o’clock, and she was a homely, old piece at that. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.”
Soldier:—“Your pardon, Lieutenant, but—I was ordered to take—the Colonel’s wife home from the theatre.”
At the Swimming School
Sergeant (to a recruit):—“You big num-skull, you are more stupid than a piece of wood! That, at any rate can swim, and that is a good deal more than you can do!”
A Cunning Sergeant
In the barrack yard of a garrison stood a lot of pear trees. The pears were ripe and a squad of soldiers under the supervision of Sergeant Schulze, is ordered to gather them. Punctually at the appointed hour the men arrive, and, shortly after, have disappeared among the branches of the trees to begin their task. Sergeant Schulze soon notices that more pears go into the men’s pockets than into the baskets. However he says nothing and looks on smilingly. As soon as all the fruit is gathered, he orders the men to the horizontal bars standing in the yard, whereupon there is a great shower of pears from the men’s pockets.
Fault of the Target
Captain:—“What were the results of your target-practice?”
Sergeant:—“Good, Captain; my men would have shot better if the target had stood a little more to the right.”