“Well, I suppose the keeper takes the lion’s share.”

A Pious Wish

Lieutenant:—“Then you refuse me your daughter’s hand, sir? Ah, would that my grief might soften your heart!”

Banker:—“I am sorry, sir, but in this instance I don’t follow my heart, but my brain.”

Lieutenant:—“And may I not hope for a softening of the brain?”

The End in Sight

A tradesman punished his erring apprentice, saying, at the same time, “How much longer are you going to serve the evil one?”

The boy replied, “You ought to know best, master; I believe my time is up in four months.”

Flattering Likeness