A Novelty
Dude:—“Pshaw! Life is stale! I believe I’ll kill myself some day. But how?”
“Have a thought shoot through your head for once.”
A Wonderful Cure
A gentleman who had trouble with his eyes went to an oculist to have them examined. The physician took the eye out, put it on the table, and examined the socket. When he turned around he was horrified to see the cat in the act of swallowing the eye. He grabbed her, carried her outside, took out one of her eyes, and returning to the consulting room, replaced the gentleman’s with the cat’s eye, and told him to come back in a week.
When the patient returned the oculist asked him if he could see.
“Oh, yes,” he answered; “I can see by day as well as by night.”
“Do you sleep well?”
“So, so! One of the eyes sleeps soundly, but it’s strange, the other seems to be constantly on the lookout for mice.”