Appropriate to Men
Gentleman:—“At fifty we may call the ladies ‘old women,’ may we not, gracious lady?”
Lady:—“Certainly, and many men much sooner.”
A Distinction
Some one says of the residents of Munich: “When they rise in the morning they are beer barrels, and when they retire at night they are barrels of beer.”
Cheap Communication
Father (to his son going on a long journey):—“Benjamin, when you arrive at Krotoschin, you needn’t waste any paper writing a letter. I’ll give you a stamped envelope addressed to me; you just mail that, and I’ll know that you arrived safely.”
Son:—“Father, you can save the postage. I’ll mail it without the stamp, and you just refuse to take it.”
Objected to Her Mother
Mother:—“I wish you would tell me, Franz, why you don’t want to marry Fräulein Neumann. I tell you, the girl is a pearl.”