A la Munchausen
A:—“Look, on the weather-vane of that church-tower sits a fly.”
B:—“Yes, I see him, and what’s more, he is yawning just now, and has a hollow tooth in his mouth.”
He Found Them
Three wags met an old Jew. “Good-morning, Father Abraham!” cried the first. “Good-morning, Father Isaac!” the second. “Good-morning, Father Jacob!” the third.
“You are mistaken, gentlemen,” said the Jew; “I am neither Abraham, nor Isaac, nor Jacob; I am Saul, who went to look for his father’s asses, and I’ve found them, I’ve found them!”
A Horse-thief’s Excuse
“You villain,” said the judge to the horse-thief, just brought before him, “how did you dare to steal a horse from the street, in the middle of the day?”
“I steal a horse?” returned the thief. “Let me tell your Honor, that in a very narrow street a horse stood right in my way. I was in a hurry, and wanted to drive him on in front of me when a voice cried, ‘Take care, that horse kicks!’ Then I tried to push past him, and go my way, when somebody called out, ‘Hold on, that beast bites!’ Now what else could I do, if I did not want to be bitten, but to jump on him as quickly as I could? And I had hardly touched the saddle when the impatient horse takes the bit between his teeth and runs. He took me fourteen miles, and that is how I came to be here, your Honor. Now did I steal that horse, or did that horse steal me?”