“Sarah,” said Moritz one morning to his wife, “Sarah, offer me one hundred and fifty marks for my hops!”

Sarah:—“Well, I offer you one hundred and fifty marks for your hops.”

Moritz then went to the hop market where a dealer offered him one hundred marks for his crop.

“What,” cries Moritz, indignantly, “one hundred marks! May the lightning strike me, if I haven’t already been offered to-day one hundred and fifty marks.”

In the Laundry

Neighbor:—“What in the world is your husband doing in the laundry all morning?”

The Poet’s Wife (angrily):—“He is forever writing his poetry on his cuffs! Now he is hunting in the wash-boiler, for the fourth verse of his last poem.”

His Love for Lilacs

“My wife is attention personified! Some time ago I happened to mention that I loved all lilacs—and what do you suppose I saw, when my birthday came around?”