Miser:—“If, as you say, there is nothing more to be done for me, I should like it better if you could fix it so that I shall be dead and buried by New Year.”
Doctor:—“What do you wish that for?”
Miser:—“Because I could save a lot of money on New Year’s presents.”
The Medicine Chest
A ship’s doctor was in the habit of prescribing sea-water for most ills. One day by an unlucky accident, he fell overboard. “Hello, Jack,” called one sailor to another, “the doctor fell into his medicine chest!”
Doctors Not Unlike Policemen
The prince of R. once said to Hufeland: “You are a famous physician. You know the human body so well inside and out, that you ought to be able to cure all ills!”
“It is with doctors as with policemen,” replied Hufeland. “We know the streets well, but how the houses look on the inside, we can only guess at.”
Bound to Succeed
“Say, surgeon,” thundered the Colonel, “several more soldiers have died and you don’t even seem to know the cause of so many deaths!”