“Why?”

“Because it is not collected directly from the dog.”

Mortgages

“Candidate, what do you know about mortgages?”

“Nothing at all; so far, I have always been able to borrow without one.”

Her Age

“You are thirty years old?” asked a magistrate of a lady whose deposition he was taking down.

“No, twenty,” she answered.

“But I was born in the same year you were.”

“Oh, well,” said the lady, snappishly, “you probably lived faster than I!”