“Thirty-six and a half feet.”

“How can you tell so exact?”

“’Cause I measured it. I thought right away, some fool from court would ask me about it.”

Objected to Income Tax

Magistrate:—“You are accused of loafing; why don’t you work?”

Loafer:—“Because then I would have to pay an income tax.”

A Witness Against His Will

Judge:—“Constable, bring in the next witness!” (Constable beckons to a man by the door to step up.)

Judge:—“What is your name?”

Peter:—“Peter Lerch.”