Stranger (at a mountain tavern):—“Say, mine host, what is that dreadful rumbling noise above?”
Host:—“Dear me, I suppose the tavern is going to tumble down; it’s very rickety. But that’s nothing. If it doesn’t kill us, we’ll build a new one next year, and will hope to see you and your friends.”
Sticking to the Date
Official (to conductor, who is hours behind with his train):—“What made you so late?”
Conductor:—“We don’t run by hours and minutes, we just stick to the date!”
A Tough Parrot
A gentleman farmer, from Pomerania, visited Vienna. At a bird dealer’s, a talking parrot excited his greatest admiration. He paid two hundred gulden for him and had him sent home to his friend Gela. After his return he called on him and of course asked for the parrot. “Oh,” said his friend, “many thanks for your kind attention. He was a little tough, though.”
“What? the parrot?”
“Certainly, he had to be cooked for six hours.”
“What? Did you cook that parrot?”