Lady (at a mountain resort):—“As a member of the Alpine Club, you can tell me, I suppose, how many feet this mountain is above the level of the sea?”
Gentleman:—“That—that is difficult to ascertain, as the height changes with the tide.”
On a Steamer Between Lauterburg and Worms
Stranger (who sees the Rhine for the first time and has been told that the famous Rhine wine comes from these parts):—“Ah, how delighted I am to see this great river, from which they make that fine Rhine wine you get here!”
Effective
1st letter. Wife (from a summer resort):—“How I long for a few lines from your hand!” (No answer.)
2d letter. “I am very much worried about you, do write!” (No answer.)
3d letter. “I am devoured with anxiety about you; it will kill me!” (No answer.)
4th letter. “If I do not hear from you by to-morrow, I shall come home!”
Telegram. “Stay where you are. I am well and happy! Your husband.”