(b) The card should always have the gentleman’s address on the right hand lower corner; or, if he has no permanent place of residence, then the name of his club, or of some person in whose care communications can be forwarded to him. If his name has too many initials to permit of using the Christian name, then “Mr.” should be used, and only the initials placed before the surname; but otherwise, the use of “Mr.” is according to taste, whether it be placed before the Christian name or omitted, though the latter is advised.
9. Calling should be confined entirely to the afternoon and evening; a few exceptions can be made in the case of very dear friends, when a call in the morning would not be out of the way. Such should be made between the hours of eleven and one. Afternoon calls should be made from three till five, exceptions being made on occasions where the lady is in the habit of having five o’clock tea, when it is allowable for the gentleman to stay till his cup or two cups are finished; on no account is he to partake of more than two. Ordinary evening calls extend from eight to ten and are not to be made later than eight-thirty. For no reason whatever should a gentleman stay later than ten, unless he is calling upon his fiancée; the evening receptions extend from eight to eleven, and the call must be made before ten.
When pressed to remain to a meal, unless at least five or six calls have previously been made, he should decline the invitation, exceptions being permitted when the young lady’s parents or guardians are on intimate terms with his own, in which case the second call will justify him in accepting. Intimacy between her brothers or sisters and your own will not suffice. The card is delivered at the door, and while waiting for the lady, enter the parlor. It is not necessary to remove the overcoat until the butler announces whether or not she is at home and can see you; whereupon, if she acknowledges your card, the overcoat, hat, cane and overshoes are to be left in the hall; on no account leave them about the parlor. It is not necessary to remove the gloves. This rule applies in all cases where ordinary calls are in question; if merely on a mission to occupy but a few moments, the overcoat may be kept on, and the cane carried in the hand, but the hat must always be left upon the rack.
Always rise and advance to meet a lady at the door; do not subject her to the inconvenience of discovering you and coming to you herself. If the lady seats herself upon a sofa, do not place yourself beside her without first obtaining her consent. If you take the seat, be careful of your position, and do not appear too easy and at home, and, above all, do not cross the legs. Also, keep the hands as quiet as possible; don’t handle any objects or toy with ornaments, or twist your watch-chain, for it shows you are either nervous or fidgety, and you thereby produce the nervous effect upon your companion. The conversation should be of a sensible topic; or, if amusing, it should be at least interesting: the best topics to converse upon being theaters, plays, society, picture exhibitions, art, buildings, literature, and especially light gossip. Travels may also be discussed, but first ascertain of the lady whether she has traveled; if not, and she does not ask you to recite your travels, and it is your desire to do so, then describe them as briefly as possible. If you find a young lady begins to appear restless, say a few words more and take your departure; there is no knowing but that she has some other engagement. Never at any time speak of an acquaintance in a disagreeable manner. Do not even say anything unguardedly about a third person, for fear that the trait or action you describe may disclose to your companion of whom you are speaking. These last two cautions may seem of minor importance, but they are, on the contrary, very important, as thousands of serious quarrels result from neglecting them.
10. When in company, do not by word or action make yourself obnoxious to those present. Your words should be well chosen and spoken at the proper time, and in good grammar; omit slang. If of a joking frame of mind, deliver your joke in a quiet way, and do not carry your ability too far; for too much of a good thing is worse than none at all. A few good jokes, delivered with telling effect, will do more for your reputation in that line than a thousand poor ones improperly delivered. No man should laugh at his own joke, and when doing so at others’ he should take care not to be boisterous. Do not monopolize the conversation; it cannot be done without interrupting others, and to do that is the height of rudeness. When in company, and persons are talking, do not pick them up on any statement of which you do not approve, and pointedly contradict them, nor start any argument which would tend to their embarrassment. Never flatter or compliment in company, as it makes the object of your attention feel conspicuous, and those present imagine that they are of less importance in your estimation. Do not ask a young lady to attend any entertainment with you, or do not extend any invitation if another lady be present, with whom you are even but slightly acquainted; your partiality for one should never be disclosed to another. Unless you can do it gracefully, do not execute a dance or attempt to imitate stage performers.
Also take care not to upset or run into ornaments or stub the toe against them, and be sure of your footing, that you do not trip on mats, etc. A great many gentlemen imagine it to be necessary to back out of a room on taking their departure; not so,—merely say “good-by” (or “good-morning,” or words suited to the time of day), and, turning to the door, walk out to the hallway. If the hostess has an inclination or desire to follow you and continue any unfinished subject which may have been under discussion, it is not necessary to retire in so awkward a manner. Promptly announce your intention and enter the hall; while adjusting the overcoat and gloves, the conversation can be continued. This method can be exercised without the faintest appearance of rudeness.… Subjects to be carefully studied for company use may be found under the head of “Conversation.”
11. If you are at a special invitation afternoon tea or reception, pay particular attention to the hostess whenever she is seen unoccupied, and offer your company in escorting her to partake of refreshments. Always eat lightly of the viands yourself. If a crowded reception, half an hour only should be spent thereat. A reception call should be made within three months thereafter; half an hour, or possibly three-quarters, is proper for such a call.
12. A gentleman should never enter his sister’s luncheon hall when the repast is in progress; such intrusions prove fatal to topics of dress generally under discussion, or other matter not intended for his ears. A gentleman can give a stag luncheon, or a luncheon for both ladies and gentlemen if a chaperon presides.