PERSONAL ACTIONS
Section 1. When a gentleman accepts the honored position of escort he is supposed to do so willingly, and with the intention of fulfilling its many requirements. Do not accept and accompany a lady to her intended destination, and continually show any displeasure in your position. Pay strict attention to her, and leave her only when she is engaged in some dance or occupation with another partner. Young ladies take escorts in substitution for a brother or relative, and when so taking expect to find them congenial and as equal to their duties as any brother or relative would be. When asking a gentleman as escort the lady is expected to furnish the carriage if it is her desire to ride; it is not necessary for the gentleman to bring her flowers in return for her kindness, but an after-gift of the same will suffice. When asking a lady to give you the pleasure of her company for any event, you must, of course, expect to pay all expenses; if in the evening, and she is an old acquaintance, always expect to furnish a carriage. If only an acquaintance, and it is necessary to use a carriage, then a chaperon should be brought with you. But the cars are generally the mode of travel which can be used if a chaperon is not desired.
Never take advantage of your situation when in a carriage alone with a lady, by addressing her in any way too familiar to be polite.
2. Extravagance is one of the greatest faults into which young and old persist in falling. Very few society men know what economy means. So to point out a few ways by which extravagance may be at least modified by gentlemen: (a) It is very poor taste for a person to show by his attire extravagant inclinations. Do not dress too gaudily, or change the suits more than is ordinarily necessary for special occasions. Let your dress be not too costly, not too loud, but neat, of the styles described in Part I. of this book, and do away with too great a variety of top and over coats, neckties, patent leather shoes (for walking), and, above all, elaborately figured waistcoats, also elaborate canes. They all combine not only to appear extravagant, but destroy the effect of simple elegance. (b) Do not spend money for a thing unless it is necessary for your own good or that of a relation. Presents given by a single man should be simple and of slight cost.
If engaged the rule is less strict; but if married a man should not only teach himself the law of economy, but also his wife and children. Such gifts as candy, flowers, jewelry, etc., should be given only by very dear friends, which relation permits such presents to be of slight cost, while they are appreciated as if of great cost. Costly gifts to acquaintances are a gross extravagance.
3. Kissing is a pleasure which is not to be indulged in except among dear relatives, the family, wife, or your fiancée. Never kiss or embrace a person outside of these exceptions, no matter how old friends they may be. No lady would allow you such a privilege, and if she should so far forget her standing as to permit the act, you would be rude, exceedingly so, and no gentleman, to take advantage of her forgetfulness. Never, on any account, kiss or embrace the persons, as stated above, in a public place,—it is common. No one knows your relationship, and no one the length of time of separation; besides, the act of kissing is very undignified and ungraceful. Of course these rules only apply to gentlemen; they are not enforceable in respect to ladies, as the feminine sex is supposed to be more demonstrative. Familiarity, though allowed, breeds contempt by degrees.