2. Jewelry should be given as seldom as possible outside of your own family, dear relatives, or fiancée. If given to others, it should be very small, cost little, and not be too elaborate; having merely enough beauty about it to convey the feeling and intention of the gift. A costly present of this class is seldom appreciated as it should be, unless it is given to a lady who stands, or intends to stand, in a very dear position towards you, or to a gentleman friend of long standing and sincere friendship. The only exception allowable for costly gifts of jewelry outside of those rules already stated is in cases of marriage; where the act of presentation of jewels would furnish no ground of suspicion further than extravagance. Whether for a wedding or an ordinary gift, jewelry should always be sent in a box from the store direct, or by messenger; never present it in person. And when calling subsequently refuse the acceptation of thanks.
3. For bon-bons and elaborate boxes, also for articles not classed as jewelry, a much more lenient rule is applied. In fact, except for mere acquaintances, a present of this kind may be given to any one, friend or relative, married or unmarried. These, too, are not to be delivered in person, but sent with card from store or by messenger. In such presents, as in others, taste and fine judgment should be exercised. To a gift of any kind whatsoever an answer should not be expected for three days.
4. Photographs should never be solicited from a mere acquaintance. Wait till you know a lady well before asking for her likeness. No gentleman should be allowed to possess, nor should he seek to possess, a lady’s picture without first having met her at least seven times. He must first so establish his friendship with her that when he asks for her likeness she cannot justly use the common expression that “he must have her photograph for fear he might forget her face,” but would understand that his desire for it comes straight from the heart, and not with the intention of adding to a variety collection. And it is also unnecessary to comply with a like request from the lady till of fast acquaintance. An exchange of photographs is generally the safest way of overcoming any doubt which may arise in your mind as to the disposition which the lady will make of your picture, for then the maxim can be applied—“It’s a poor rule which can’t work both ways.”
GENERAL POLITENESS
Section 1. A gentleman should always be perfectly polite with his social inferiors, no matter how he may be brought in contact with them, whether he meets them in company with his equals or inferiors, or if alone. For though your inferiors, they deserve respect, and a deviation from politeness on their account would cause your politeness towards equals to appear false, a shield to your true manner. Always be polite to your inferiors, and it naturally follows that you will be politeness itself with your equals. A gentleman has no superiors.