My sojourn in New Amazonia had already tended to bestow more vigour upon me, and since my visit to the Renewing Rooms I had felt unwontedly strong. Now that pique, wounded vanity, or a natural spirit of emulation—call it what you will—had banished my nervousness, I felt equal to any demands which were likely to be made upon my powers of endurance. The Honourable Augustus was also somewhat improved in physique, but I did not fear the contest, as I instinctively felt that the very weapons with which he was so fond of asserting his superiority to my own unfortunate sex would be the means of his undoing in popular esteem, if brought into action on this occasion.
The proceedings began by our introduction to several prominent New Amazonian celebrities, one of whom was no less an individual than the Leader herself, whose dark green velvet attire was so richly embroidered with gold tissue that she looked perfectly resplendent. Her cap and sash were, in addition, adorned with gems, of which the prevailing design was a harp encircled with shamrocks, the harps being outlined in diamonds, and the shamrocks in emeralds.
The Leader herself was a magnificent woman, who, when her term of office expired, would once more lapse into her former condition of comparative obscurity as Professor of Moral Philosophy, for it was one of the laws of this strange land, that whenever a Leader’s term of office had run out, she should for ten years at least take no further active part in the government of her country. The next Leader elected was always one of the Prime Advisers, who had already done duty in the ranks of the Privy Councillors, these in their turn being elected by popular vote from the Tribunes. It was considered desirable to afford equal chances to every candidate for Office, hence the limitations of time insisted upon.
When the Leader entered, the whole audience rose to greet her. Then, as soon as she and her escort were seated, and our introduction to her was graciously acknowledged, Principal Grey, in a few well-chosen words, described how one of her students had encountered the two strangers in the college garden, and the arrangements that had been made for our comfort and entertainment.
While she was still speaking, the Honourable Augustus skipped over the stage on tiptoe and enquired sotto voce, “I say, are you going to speak first, or am I?”
“Just as you like,” I replied in a whisper, willing to do anything to get rid of him, and cover his breach of manners in creating a diversion while Principal Grey was still speaking.
“That’s all right, then,” he ejaculated, evidently greatly relieved. “You see, I am used to speaking in public; and you are not. You might spoil the impression I wish to create, if you spoke first. And besides——”
“For goodness sake bestow your attention upon your surroundings,” I interrupted hurriedly, standing up as I spoke, and accepting the hand of Principal Grey, who led me forward, and introduced me to the audience, a very handsome man performing the like service for the Honourable Augustus, who bowed so theatrically, and looked so killingly dudish, that the one prevailing expression on the faces of all who saw him was a large smile, which produced radiant satisfaction in Augustus.
“Mr. Fitz-Musicus wishes to speak first,” I quietly informed the Principal. She looked not a little surprised at what she evidently regarded as his presumption. But no objection was made to the proposal, and in another moment we were listening to the Honourable Augustus’s remarkable peroration.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” he began, and was forthwith astounded to hear deprecating murmurs all over the house. For an instant he looked dumbfounded, then he seemed to think he knew what was wrong, and recovered his presence of mind with magical swiftness. “I beg the pardon of all those here assembled,” he continued, “I ought to have said gentlemen and ladies. We are more polite in our country, and always, when in public, do our best to flatter the inferior sex. However, since you prefer it the other way, here goes. It is with great pleasure, gentlemen and ladies——”