While this subject and the conversation just alluded to were fresh in mind, we chanced to pick up a stray paper which spoke quite clearly on some of the points in question. We subjoin a few sentences. They may not come exactly under the head of “talks with young housekeepers,” but they certainly belong to the “Household.” Besides, while we are on such intimate terms with the wife, common courtesy demands that some little attention should be paid to the husband.
“We will for the present leave out of sight all sentiment, all reference to the little comforts and felicities that go to make up the sum of domestic happiness, and come right to the practical question, ‘Does a young woman, who comes to her husband with little or no dowry, but with willing heart and hands and a fair share of intelligence, who takes care of him, of his house, and of his family as it increases, often without any hired help, really earn anything more than her board and clothing?’
“No man will deny that a good wife is a treasure. Her care and labor certainly secure him many comforts; but how much would he consider them worth in dollars and cents? It is a great comfort to a husband to have his three meals a day properly cooked and prepared at hours that suit his convenience. He can swallow a dinner in twenty or thirty minutes, that it has taken most of the wife’s forenoon to prepare. He thinks it a good dinner; but how high an estimate think you would he put upon the labor of preparing it, if required to state the worth in money?
“With what astonishment and disgust would he look upon his table if set with dishes that had not been washed since last used; but how high a money value would he be willing to put upon the one unromantic item of washing dishes, which, nevertheless, takes so large a share of a woman’s time?
“With what satisfaction he puts on the clean, smoothly ironed shirt and the nicely darned socks! They do not look much like the ones he pulls off to throw into the wash.
“Some one had to rub pretty smartly to get the dirt all out; some one strained over the hot flat-irons to make this shirt so glossy; some one spent an hour, perhaps while he slept, to darn those unsightly holes in the heels of these stockings. And if a farmer, it was his wife most probably that did it all; and not this one week only, but every week, as sure as the week comes round. Now, he does appreciate cleanliness, notwithstanding his protestations against washing-days and house-cleaning; but is he willing to own that it is worth anything in money if done by his wife?
“Then comes the case of the milk and butter. Every day it must be attended to at the proper time, the cream churned, the butter made and carefully worked and salted. He is proud that his wife makes good butter, and quite happy to have customers tell him, ‘Your wife makes better butter than any one round here.’ But then, are not the cows his? Does he not furnish the food? does he not milk and take care of them? Is her part really worth anything in dollars and cents?
“Then, again, her energies are taxed early and late in the care of the children. She is, of course, an interested party here; but then she don’t pretend to own but half a share. Is it really worth nothing to soothe, amuse, correct, teach, and watch over his half of the little folks as well as her own? This is real brain-work. Where is the man who will say that this care for their children does not require all a woman’s wit and wisdom? But if asked to place a pecuniary value upon this part of a wife’s and mother’s care and labor, to how high a figure, think you, it would mount?
“A farmer’s wife, who really does her own work, or faithfully oversees its being done, which is by far the most trying part, has no easy task; but we would ask for her only what is justly her due. If there is any standard by which her services can be rightly estimated, we would like to know it. We wish to know whether there be any surplus in her favor; whether, when she asks for a few dollars for some purpose not strictly necessary (a book, for instance), she ought to feel that she is asking for her husband’s hard-earned means, or whether she has a right to feel that it is her due? How much must a wife credit to her husband’s generosity; how much use with a free conscience as her own faithfully earned portion of their joint labors?”
Young men will do wisely to give this matter a serious thought, lest they make the mistake of taking a wife’s labor and attentions as a matter of course, as a right, instead of feeling that in taking his name, his wife claims, not only an equal right to his cares and labors, joys and sorrows, but also an equal right to a proper use of the money which she has done her part to earn or to save. A wife, a farmer’s wife particularly, has too much toil and perpetual watchfulness to make her life desirable, if with it all she is to be considered a beggar, a recipient of charity, instead of a joint partner with her husband in all that he has.