XX.
TEACH LITTLE BOYS TO BE USEFUL.
HOW often, when anything has been said of teaching little boys to be useful, have we heard mothers exclaim, “What an idea! Teach boys to be useful! I wish you would tell me how; for of all the restless, awkward, mischievous, troublesome comforts on the face of the earth, I do think boys are the most trying. I am sure I love my boys just as much as I do my girls; but it is so much harder to manage them, to keep them out of mischief, to know what to do with them. They were vexatious enough when we were boarding; but now, when, with four children on my hands, I am but just entering upon my novitiate as a housekeeper, feeling my way step by step, they fret me woefully. They are under my feet all the time. Too young to be sent to school more than a few hours a day, or to be turned out unattended, to play with chance companions, they hang about me, uneasy, restless, fractious, teasing for something continually. I often think it would be a comfort could we put them on a shelf to sleep through the unquiet, turbulent period of childhood, to wake up full-grown men. My little girls can always find something to do, but the boys—make boys useful, indeed! It would be a true benefactor who could teach mothers how to accomplish such a marvellous thing!”
Well, I notice that you very wisely and skillfully combine instruction with amusement in your management of your little girls. I watched with much interest how pleasantly you were teaching them to be useful, while they found work to be only amusement. “I wonder which of these little girls would like to run and bring mamma a few apples”; and away, in great glee, trotted little three-year-old Kitty, with her little basket.
“Would Mary like to help mamma pare this nice red apple? Which, think you, can make the largest paring without breaking?” How happy the little lady was to leave her play and make the trial! Why not make the same effort to amuse and instruct your little boys?
“Would you have me teach them to set the table, wash dishes, sew, or try to work?”
Do you not believe they can be taught all this as easily as girls? We hold that, in a large family, each one, boy or girl, should be taught to be useful; to help their mother indoors and out, and, above all, learn to help themselves. This they cannot do if allowed to be idle.
In the city, and in families that depend entirely on hired help, it is more difficult to train children to be industrious and useful. It is not well to let the young, imitative little ones be much with servants, certainly not unless the mother is there also; and all instructions of a practical nature should be given by her, and practised under her eye. Wealth is by no means to be despised; but when it is so employed as to remove all labor from us, or to so free us from care that we do not teach our children how to make themselves serviceable, it is no blessing, and may become a curse. Those who have begun life poor, and worked their way to wealth by real hard labor, forget, when their children start up around them, how much true, solid pleasure was in their struggle for this well-earned prosperity, and as they relax their exertions and begin to feel the enervating effects of wealth, they remember only the hardship, forgetting the pleasure. Because there is now no absolute necessity for it, they shrink from permitting their children to follow in their early footsteps, and so cheat them out of the strength and independence for which no amount of gold can in any way compensate.
But we are neglecting the boys. We will give you an example which will explain somewhat our idea of making children useful, boys and girls alike.
We remember a large family in which there were seven boys. They were not driven to work, but from their earliest childhood were, little by little, trained to understand and do all kinds of outdoor work pertaining to a large farm; but it was also understood that they were to lend a helping hand indoors whenever the mother or sisters needed them. They knew they would only be called in when it was quite necessary, but very early recognized the importance of knowing how to do anything that came before them. If the mother or sisters were sick or absent, they could so far fill up the gap as to keep things comfortable till health was restored. They could dress the youngest, make a bed, sweep a room, make a cup of tea or coffee, broil a steak, or wash the dishes in a very satisfactory manner.
When quite little, not old enough to undertake heavy or rough work, they were allowed any amount of play, but it was expected that all but the baby must do something useful, something that was work, in the course of each day. So, little by little, as they trotted about after mother, they gathered up many things which, in mature life, were of great value.