“He excused himself for coming so late, but he said he had only just received some important news, and could not rest until he had seen us. He had been round at the Conference house, and had there seen a good many of the Elders. They were all talking earnestly upon the same subject, for that day they had received, not only letters from the apostle at Liverpool, but also copies of the Millennial Star, with the Revelation in it, which I suppose you have seen. Of course it was impossible for them to doubt any longer, but most of them felt it was a cruel blow. Elder Shrewsbury said they looked at one another, but did not dare to speak. Nearly all of them had been anxiously trying to get rid of the false scandal, as they supposed the accusation of polygamy to be; and in public in their sermons, and in private to all the weak brethren, they had over and over again solemnly declared that polygamy was unheard of among the Saints, that it was a Gentile lie; and they had proved from the Bible, and from the Book of Mormon, that a doctrine so sinful could never be believed or practised by God’s people.
“Now all this would be thrown in their teeth. Those who hated Mormonism would revile them for it, and, worse still, the Saints themselves would despise and doubt them for the falsehoods which many of them had innocently told. Who could tell where all this would end? When they were found to have been deceived in a matter like polygamy, about which it was so easy to arrive at facts and certainty, who would trust them concerning other doctrines, which depended upon their veracity and testimony alone?
“Then, too, there was worse to be said about the American elders and apostles. Who could believe that Orson Pratt or Lorenzo Snow knew nothing of polygamy? And yet they denied it in the most solemn way. And, oh, Sister Stenhouse, think of the Apostle Taylor calling God to witness his truth when he proved from the Book of Covenants that there was no such thing as polygamy: and all the while he had himself five wives in Salt Lake City!
“Elder Shrewsbury told us all this, but he spoke slowly and disjointedly, like a man whose mind is troubled. He said he hardly knew what he was doing. Then he gave Mrs. Elsworth a copy of the Star, and he asked me, too, to read the Revelation carefully before I condemned it.
“‘If the Revelation, as you call it, allows polygamy,’ I exclaimed, ‘I hate and despise it, and you, and Mormonism, and all!’ I was quite in a fury, and I did feel as if I hated him then.
“He did not answer me; he seemed too cut up to utter a word; but I did not pity him. I felt that men who would write such a revelation as that for their own wicked purposes deserved all the hatred which the cruellest heart could muster up; they were loathesome to any pure-minded woman. As he was about to leave he said mournfully, ‘Sister Mary, I know you have good cause for anger; but be just. I have been just as much deceived as ever you have been. It has unsettled all my faith; even our best and most tried missionaries are shrinking from it. Do not blame me for what I have not done. I never deceived you about it.’
“I did not answer him; and after a few moments he said, ‘Mary, I want to speak to you alone about these things. Can I see you, to-morrow evening, if I call?’
“‘I wish you would not call me Mary any more, Elder Shrewsbury,’ I said; ‘it is too familiar now. We have been far too friendly; but, thank God, I have found out in time, and know how to act.’ He went away looking most miserable. Then I went to my own room, and tried to think the matter out. If I were married, as you are, Sister Stenhouse, and if my husband believed in the Revelation, I think I should go crazy. As it was, I felt it terribly. You know, dear, I told you that I liked Elder Shrewsbury very well, but nothing more. Well, that was very true then, but now I know that it was not all the truth. I take care that he shall never know what I think of him, but I know that he is not the same to me as other people. I do not think I love him; no, I’m sure I don’t now; but I do feel a great deal of interest in him. That night, however, I felt very mad at him. That he had been deceived, I knew, and also that he must have felt sorry for having deceived me; and, if he cares for me, he must have felt uneasy for what I might say or do, now the doctrine was proclaimed.
“Well, the more I thought of it, the more angry I became, and I couldn’t sleep all night. The next morning I wrote a little note to Elder Shrewsbury, saying that after all that had happened I had fully resolved not to see him again. Many of my friends, I said, were married, and could not help themselves, but I both could and would. The Mormon sisters I should ever pity and love; but as for the Mormon men, I would never have anything to do with one of them as long as I lived. I did not want to be unkind to him personally, but I really could not trust any one now.