The better classes amongst them procure wives something after the following manner. There is nothing like courting amongst the young folks, as we understand that term, unless it is done by stealth, which is almost impossible, from the fact that the mothers exercise the strictest vigilance over their unmarried daughters. In this respect American mothers might often profit by the example of these heathen. Girls become wives there at the early age of fourteen, and an old maid is quite a curiosity.
Although young men in search of wives are not allowed the privilege of courting, still they keep their eyes open, and when one sees a young lady he fancies, he takes the proper steps to secure her. He makes the matter known to his parents, if he has any; they employ an elderly lady who is denominated a "Maa su", and who is acquainted with and respected by the young lady's parents. This "Maa su" goes to the house of the young lady's parents, and by a series of nice insinuations, or otherwise, finds out how such a match would take, and returns to report progress. If indications are favorable, the parents of the young man then select a number of elderly persons of both sexes, who are respectable, and intimate with both families. These they invite to their house, and hold a consultation, and after the matter is thoroughly discussed and the match decided to be a favorable one, a propitious day is chosen, and the elderly persons repair to the house of the young lady's parents. These of course divining their object, receive them kindly, and according to custom, set out the tray containing areca nut, seri leaf, red lime, and tobacco for chewing. This ceremony over, the elders broach the subject of their mission, taking good care to address the parents according to their rank, as one improperly used pronoun might spoil the whole. If it is proper to say you, they say it, and if it is proper to say your honors, or your graces, they say that.
"Such parents having ascertained that this is a propitious day, have commissioned us to come and confer with you concerning their son of such a name, who has as yet no wife. His parents having put the question to him, 'Have you any one in your mind, you would like to have become your wife, and to whom you could trust your life in sickness, and your obsequies after death?' The young man answered, that he had your daughter of such a name, and her only. The parents have therefore commissioned us to visit you the much respected parents of the young lady, and confer with you in reference to this matter. What do you the parents say?"
The parents reply: "Our daughter is one we love much, and the young man is one whom his parents love much. We have an ancient proverb which says, 'Move slowly and you will gain your object, and a prolonged effort generally results favorably.' We will consult our relatives on the right hand, and on the left, and see what they say about it. Please call again."
After waiting a reasonable time and another propitious day has come, the elders call again. The parents of the young lady will say: "We have consulted our relatives, and they are unanimously of the opinion that if the young man really loves our daughter, and can confide in her as a proper person to take care of him in sickness, and take charge of his body after death, his affections and confidence should be planted." "But how is it in regard to the ages, and birthdays of the parties? Are they such as to be suitable to each other?" The Siamese have a superstition that persons born in certain years, are incompatible with each other. For instance, if one was born in the year of the dog, and the other in the year of the rat, or one in the year of the cow, and the other in the year of the tiger, they would be incompatible with each other. The matter is accordingly referred to some fortune-teller, who, for a small fee, generally pronounces no serious difficulty in the way.
This difficulty cleared up, the elders call for a further discussion of the preliminaries. They say:—"Since birth-days do not interfere, what shall be said about the mutual stock for the young couple to commence business on, and the money for building a house for the young couple?" According to Siamese custom the bridegroom almost invariably goes to live with the parents of the bride, and accordingly puts up a house on their premises, and as near the old mansion as possible. Thus a man who has a number of daughters, finds himself surrounded by a village, by the time they are all married off. The parents of the young lady will answer, "We are by no means affluent, that we could devote much money to that purpose. But allow us to ask, how will it be with the parents of the young man—how much will they be willing to give their son?" The others will reply, "It depends altogether on the parents of the young lady." The other party will reply, "If such be the case, we would suggest that they appropriate, say one hundred ticals ($60), for the purpose of building a house; and for mutual trade five hundred ticals, and that they also contribute areca nut, seri leaf, red lime, cakes, &c., for wedding purposes, say one hundred salvers or dishes." The plan of the new house, and the number of rooms are generally also specified. The elders then return and report to the parents of the young man, and if they are satisfied, a bargain is struck.
All preliminaries having been made, the young man goes to work to build his house, which generally requires but a short time, and the parents of the young lady do not delay to consult astrologers in reference to a propitious day for the wedding. The day having been fixed, and all things arranged, the friends of both parties are invited to assist in carrying out the arrangements. The parents of both parties unite in selecting some elderly persons, who shall be the bearers of the money, together with two suits of white raiment, an offering to the bride's parents, and the wedding cakes, &c. This is done in procession, either in boats on the river, or by land, with bands of music playing wedding airs. The money and presents are given over to the bride's parents, and they in turn bring out their portion of the money, and perhaps a slave or two, to assist the young bride in performing her household duties. The guests being all assembled, the money and presents are all exhibited. The elders then count the money of both parties, as legal witnesses. Both sums are thrown together, and sprinkled over with a little rice, scented oil, flowers, &c., symbolical of blessings craved on the young couple. The joint stock is then delivered over to the parents of the bride for safe keeping.
Some time is then spent in feasting and mutual conversation, and priests are chanting prayers the while. The bridegroom then, in company with some of his young friends, goes to his new house.
The bride at the same time dispatches a lad neatly dressed, bearing a tray of areca nut, who meets them there, and invites them to be seated and enjoy themselves. She also decks herself in gay apparel, and in company with some of her attendants repairs to the same building, but the two parties are still separated by a screen. Religious services are then held, after which the screen is withdrawn and the elders proceed to bathe the young couple copiously with holy water. The chief elder pours it first upon the head of the bridegroom, and then upon the head of the bride, pronouncing a blessing upon each. The attendants of the bride then assist her in changing her wet apparel for dry, but still, if anything, more gay than the former. A finely dressed lad then appears with a silver plated tray, containing a handsome suit for the bridegroom, being a present from the bride's parents, in which he speedily attires himself. Whilst these things are going on the priests are rehearsing prayers for the benefit of the young couple. All are then invited to a feast prepared by the bride's parents, and when this is over the guests all return to their homes. The bride stays with her parents, but the bridegroom goes to his new house, where he has secured a band of music, and serenades the bride until a late hour. Early next morning the guests all assemble, and have a feast for the priests in which all vie with each other in their attentions to the clergy. They then have another feast for themselves. If this is a propitious day the ceremonies are closed in the evening. A respectable couple, friends of the bride, who are man and wife, and who themselves have been blessed with a large family of children, are selected, and they then repair to the new house and prepare the bridal bed. About 9 o'clock in the evening the elders conduct the bride to her new home, and after some counsels and exhortations, the young couple are left alone perhaps for the first time. Oftentimes however, if the second day is unpropitious, the ceremonies are continued until the third or fourth day.
After a few days have elapsed the bridegroom conducts his bride to visit his parents. She takes with her a few presents of cakes and fruit, and upon entering the house prostrates herself three times to the floor, and is then taken into the embrace and confidence of the family. The bridegroom also pays a formal visit to the bride's parents, and prostrates himself before them.