Never cease trying to make yourself understood. Learn to read and write before you are of age.
Never pronounce with your teeth clenched, through the nose, or by ripping up the sounds laboriously from the pit of the stomach. Speak gently, but with clarion-like distinctness.
Never squeal like a rat, grunt like a pig, or roar like a bull. Cultivate a pleasing voice.
Never smother your meaning out of sight with slang. “Soup should be seasoned, not red-hot,” says an old writer.
Never swear, anathematize, or fairly drip with profanity, especially in the presence of delicate ladies and small children. Undue emphasis often defeats itself.
Never indicate a mere passing surprise by such expressions as “Holy smoke!” “Gosh almighty!” “I’m teetotally dashed!” and the like. A mere lifting of the eyebrows, a convulsive gasp, or a wild, staggered look, while smiting the forehead with the fist, will be demonstrative enough.
Never say sir to a bootblack and old chap to a minister of the gospel in the same breath. Exercise tact.
Never say “No, mum” or “Yessum,” in addressing a lady, or “Not much, old hoss,” or “yezzur,” in speaking to a gentleman, even if these chance to be your parents or near relatives. “No, dad,” “Yes, mommy,” “No, granny,” “Yes, nunksy,” and so on, are more affectionate.
Never address a young lady as Jen., Mol., Pol., Bet., Suke., or by any other abbreviation of her given name. Miss So-and-so, or plain miss, is in better form.
Never address a young married lady as old girl, even if you were intimate with her before her marriage. Her husband may not apprehend your facetiousness.