I deliberately sought out Erchie one day in order to elicit his views upon the Royal progress through the Western Isles, and found him full of the subject, with the happiest disposition to eloquence thereon.
“Man! I’m that gled I’m to the fore to see this prood day for Scotland,” said he. “I’m daein’ hardly onything but read the mornin’ and evenin’ papers, and if the Royal yacht comes up the length o’ Yoker I’m gaun doon mysel’ to wave a hanky. ‘His Majesty in Arran. Great Reception,’ says they. ‘His Majesty in Glorious Health. Waves his hand to a Wee Lassie, and Nearly Shoots a Deer,’ says they. ‘His Majesty’s Yacht Surrounded by the Natives. Escape round the Mull. Vexation of Campbeltown, and Vote of Censure by the Golfers of Machrihanish,’ says they. Then the telegrams frae ‘Oor Special Correspondent’: ‘Oban, i p.m.—It is confidently expected that the Royal yacht will come into the bay this evenin’ in time for tea. The esplanade is being washed with eau-de-Cologne, and a’ the magistrates is up at Rankine’s barber shop gettin’ a dry shampoo.’ ‘Oban, 1.30 p.m.—A wire frae Colons says the Royal yacht is about to set sail for Oban. Tremendous excitement prevails here, and the price o’ hotel bedrooms is raised 200 per cent. It is decided to mobilise the local Boys’ Brigade, and engage Johnny M’Coll to play the pipes afore the King when he’s comin’ ashore.’ ‘6 p.m.—The Royal yacht has just passed Kerrara, and it is now certain that Oban will not be visited by the Royal party. All the flags have been taken down, and scathing comments on the extraordinary affair are anticipated from the local press.’
“Maybe ye wadna think it, but his Majesty’s gaun roond the West Coast for the sake o’ his health.
“‘Ye’ll hae to tak’ a month o’ the rest cure,’ the doctors tellt him, ‘a drap o’ claret wine to dinner, and nae worry aboot business.’
“‘Can I afford it?’ said his Majesty, that vexed-like, for he was puttin’ aff his coat and rollin’ up his sleeves to start work for the day.
“‘There’s nae choice in the maitter,’ said the doctors; ‘we order it.’
“‘But can I afford it?’ again said his Majesty. ‘Ye ken yoursels, doctors, I have had a lot o’ expense lately, wi’ trouble in the hoose, and wi’ the Coronation and aething and another. Could I no’ be doin’ the noo wi’ Setturday-to-Monday trips doon the watter?’
“But no; the doctors said there was naethin’ for him but rest. So his Majesty had to buy a new topcoat and a yachtin’ bunnet, and start oot on the Victoria and Albert.
“It’s a twa-funnelled boat, but I’m tellt that, bein’ Government built, yin 6’ the funnels has a blaw-doon, and they daurna light the furnace below’t if the win’s no’ in a certain airt.
“The yacht made first for the Isle o’ Man, and wasna five meenutes in the place when the great novelist, Hall Corelli or Mary Caine, or whichever it is, was aboard o’ her distributin’ hand-bills advertisin’ the latest novel, and the King took fright, and left the place as soon as he could.