“I’m tellin’ ye it’s a gey sair trauchle bein’ a King. The puir sowl thought the Hielan’s wad be a nice quate place where naebody wad bother him, and so he set sail then for Arran.
“‘What is that I see afore me?’ said he, comin’ up past Pladda.
“The captain put his spy-gless to his e’e, and got as white’s a cloot.
“‘It’s your Majesty’s joyous and expectant subjects,’ says he. ‘They’ve sixty-seven Gleska steamers oot yonder waitin’ on us, and every skipper has his hand on the string o’ the steam-hooter.’
“‘My God!’ groaned the puir King, ‘I thought I was sent awa’ here for the guid o’ my health.’
“Before he could say knife, a’ the Gleska steamers and ten thoosan’ wee rowin’-boats were scrapin’ the pent aff the sides o’ the Victoria and Albert, and half a million Scottish taxpayers were cheerin’ their beloved Sovereign, Edward VII., every mortal yin o’ them sayin’, ‘Yon’s him yonder!’ and p’intin’ at him.
“‘Will I hae to shoogle hands wi’ a’ that crood?’ he asked the captain o’ the Victoria and Albert, and was told it wad dae if he jist took aff his kep noo and then.
“And so, takin’ aff his kep noo and then, wi’ a’ the Gleska steamers and the ten thoosan’ wee rowin’-boats hingin’ on to the side o’ the yacht, and half a million devoted subjects takin’ turn aboot at keekin’ in through the port-holes to see what he had for dinner, his Majesty sailed into Brodick Bay.
“‘The doctors were right,’ says he; ‘efter a’ there’s naething like a rest cure; it’s a mercy we’re a’ spared.’
“The following day his Majesty hunted the deer in Arran. I see frae the papers that he was intelligently and actively assisted in this by the well-known ghillies, Dugald M’Fadyen, Donald Campbell, Sandy M’Neill, and Peter M’Phedran.