"How now, how now!" shouted the Mayor. "A riot going on here, a disturbance in the town of Tooraloo. Constable, arrest these rioters and disturbers."
"Before going to extremes," said the Constable, in a tremulous voice, "my advice to you is, read the Riot Act, and so have all the honour and glory of stopping the riot yourself."
"Unfortunately," said the Mayor, "in the haste of departure, I forgot to bring the Riot Act, so there's nothing else for it; you must have all the honour and glory of quelling it."
"The trouble is," said the Constable, "that there are far too manyrioters. One would have been quite sufficient. If there had been only one small undersized rioter, I should have quelled him with the utmost severity."
"Constable," said the Mayor, sternly, "in the name of His Majesty the King I call on you to arrest these rioters without delay."
"Look here," said Bill, "you're labourin' under an error. This ain't a riot at all. This is merely two puddin'-thieves gettin' a hidin' for tryin' to steal our Puddin'."
"Puddin'-thieves! " exclaimed the Mayor. "Don't tell me that puddin'-thieves have come to Tooraloo.
"It staggers me with pain and grief,
I can't believe it's true,
That we should have a puddin'-thief
Or two in Tooraloo.
"It is enough to make one dumb
And very pale in hue
To know that puddin'-thieves should come
To sacred Tooraloo.
"The Law's just anger must appear.
Ho! seize these scoundrels who
Pollute the moral atmosphere
Of rural Tooraloo."