Never cut up a sardine
Or mackarel of silv'ry sheen,
Lest the gods should scorn a sinner
Such as you, and spoil your dinner;
But dress them whole and serve them up,
And so you shall most richly sup.
Good sized polypus in season
Should be boil'd,—to roast them's treason;
But if early and not big,
Roast them; boil'd ain't worth a fig.
Mullets, though the taste is good,
Are by far too weakening food;
And the ills it brings to master
You will need a scorpion plaster.

9. And it is from this Philoxenus that the Philoxenean cheesecakes are named; and Chrysippus says of him, "I know an epicure, who carried his disregard of his neighbours to such an extent, that he would at the bath openly put in his hand to accustom it to the warm water, and who would rinse out his mouth with warm water, in order to be less affected by heat. And they said that he used to gain over the cooks to set very hot dishes before him, so that he might have them all to himself, as no one else could keep up with him. And they tell the same story about Philoxenus of Cythera, and about Archytas, and many more, one of whom is represented by Cromylus, the comic writer, as saying:—

I've fingers Idæan[8:1] to take up hot meat,
And a throat to devour it too;
Curries and devils are my sweetest treat,
Not more like a man than a flue.

[[9]] But Clearchus says that Philoxenus would, after he had bathed, both when in his own country and in other cities, go round to men's houses, with his slaves following him, carrying oil, and wine, and pickle juice, and vinegar, and other condiments; and that so, going into other persons' houses, he would season what was dressed for them, putting in whatever was requisite; and then, when he had finished his labours, he would join the banquet. He, having sailed to Ephesus, finding the market empty, asked the reason; and learning that everything had been bought up for a wedding feast, bathed, and without any invitation went to the bridegroom's house, and then after the banquet he sang a wedding song, which began—

O Marriage, greatest of the gods,

in such a manner as to delight every one, for he was a dithyrambic poet. And the bridegroom said, "Philoxenus, are you going to dine here to-morrow?" "Certainly," said he, "if no one sells any meat in the market."

10. But Theophilus says:—"We should not act like Philoxenus, the son of Eryxis; for he, blaming, as it seems, the niggardliness of nature, wished to have the neck of a crane for the purposes of enjoyment. But it would be better still to wish to be altogether a horse, or an ox, or a camel, or an elephant; for in the case of those animals the desires and pleasures are greater and more vehement; for they limit their enjoyments only by their power. And Clearchus says that Melanthius did pray in this way, saying, "Melanthius seems to have been wiser than Tithonus; for this last, having desired immortality, is hung up in a basket; being deprived of every sort of pleasure by old age. But Melanthius, being devoted to pleasure, prayed to have the neck of an ostrich, in order to dwell as long as possible on sweet things."

The same Clearchus says that Pithyllus, who was called Tenthes, not only had a covering to his tongue made of skin, but that he also wrapped up his tongue for the sake of luxury, and then that he rubbed it clean again with the skin of a fish. And he is the first of the epicures who is said to have eaten his meat with fingerstalls on, in order to convey it to his mouth as warm as possible. And others call Philoxenus Philicthus;[9:1] but Aristotle simply calls him Philodeipnus,[9:2]

[[10]]writing in this way:—"Those who make harangues to the multitude, spend the whole day in looking at jugglers and mountebanks, and men who arrive from the Phasis or the Borysthenes; having never read a book in their lives except The Banquet of Philoxenus, and not all of that."

11. But Phanias says that Philoxenus of Cythera, a poet, being exceedingly fond of eating, once when he was supping with Dionysius, and saw a large mullet put before him and a small one before himself, took his up in his hands and put it to his ear; and, when Dionysius asked him why he did so, Philoxenus said that he was writing Galatea, and so he wished to ask the fish some of the news in the kingdom of Nereus; and that the fish which he was asking said that he knew nothing about it, as he had been caught young; but that the one which was set before Dionysius was older, and was well acquainted with everything which he wished to know. On which Dionysius laughed, and sent him the mullet which had been set before himself. And Dionysius was very fond of drinking with Philoxenus, but when he detected him in trying to seduce Galatea, whom he himself was in love with, he threw him into the stone quarries; and while there he wrote the Cyclops, constructing the fable with reference to what had happened to himself; representing Dionysius as the Cyclops, and the flute-player as Galatea, and himself as Ulysses.