never collecting any sweet flowers. Are you not the person who call that which is called by the Romans strena, being so named in accordance with some national tradition, and which is accustomed to be given to friends, epinomis? And if you do this in imitation of Plato, we should be glad to learn it; but if you find that any one of the ancients has ever spoken in such a manner, tell us who it is who has. For I know that there is some part of a trireme which is called epinomis, as Apollonius states in his treatise on what relates to Triremes. Are not you the man who called your new stout cloak, which had never yet been used by you, (for the proper name of it, my friend, is really φαινόλης,) useless? saying—"My slave Leucus, give me that useless cloak." And once going to the bath, did not you say to a man who asked you, Whither now? I am going, said you, ἀπολούμενος (pronouncing the word as if it meant to kill yourself rather than to bathe). And that very day your beautiful garment was purloined from you by some bath robbers; so that there was great laughter in the bath, at this useless cloak being hunted for. At another time too, O my dear friends; (for the plain truth shall be told you,) he tripped against a stone and dislocated his knees. And when he was cured he again came into public: and when men asked him, What is the matter, O Ulpian? he said it was a black eye. And I (for I was with him at the time) being then unable to restrain my laughter, got anointed under the eyes with some thick ointment by a physician who was a friend of mine, and then said to those who asked me, What is the matter with you, that I had hurt my leg.

53. There is also another imitator of the same wisdom,

[[163]]Pompeianus the Philadelphian; a man not destitute of shrewdness, but still a terrible wordcatcher: and he, conversing with his servant, calling him by name with a loud voice, said—"Strombichides, bring me to the gymnasium those intolerable slippers (he used the word ἀφορήτους, intending it to mean what he had never worn) and my useless (he used the word ἄχρηστος, by which he meant which he had never used) cloak. For I, as soon as I have bound up my beard, shall address my friends. For I have got some roast fish. And bring me a cruet of oil. For first of all we will be crushed (he used the word συντριβησόμεθον, meaning to say we will rub ourselves well), and then we will be utterly destroyed (his word was ἀπολούμεθον, and he meant to say we will have a bath)." And this same sophist, in the month of February, as the Romans call it, (and Juba the Mauritanian says that this month has its name[163:1] from the terrors caused by the spirits under the earth, and from the means used to get rid of those fears, at which season the greatest severity of winter occurs, and it is the custom of them to offer libations for many days to those who are dead:) in the month of February, I say, he said to one of his friends—"It is a long time since you have seen me, because of the heat." And when the festival of the Panathenæa was being celebrated, during which the courts of justice do not assemble, he said—"This is the birthday of the virgin goddess Minerva," (but he pronounced the word ἀλέκτορος, as if he had meant of the cock of Minerva,) "and this day is unjust," (for he

[[164]]called it ἄδικος, though he meant the word to have the sense of being a holiday for the courts of law). And once he called a companion of ours who came back from Delphi without having received an answer from the god, ἄχρηστον, (which never means anything but useless, but he used the word for unanswered). And once when he was making a public display of his eloquence, and going through a long panegyric on the Queen of cities, he said, Most admirable is the Roman dominion, and ἀνυπόστατος (he meant irresistible).[164:1]

54. Such now, my friends, are Ulpian's companions, the sophists; men who call even the thing which the Romans call miliarium, that is to say, a vessel designed to prepare boiling water in, ἰπνολέβης, an oven-kettle; being manufacturers of many names, and far outrunning by many parasangs the Sicilian Dionysius: who called a virgin μένανδρος (from μένω and ἀνὴρ), because she is waiting for a husband; and a pillar μενεκράτης (from μένω and κράτος), because it remains and is strong. And a javelin he called βαλλάντιον, because (ἄντιον βάλλεται) it is thrown against something; and mouse-holes he called μυστήρια, mysteries, (from τηρεῖν τοὺς μῦς) because they keep the mice. And Athanis, in the first book of his History of the Affairs of Sicily, says that the same Dionysius gave an ox the name of γαρότας; and a pig he called ἴακχος. And Alexarchus was a man of the same sort, the brother of Cassander, who was king of Macedonia, who built the city called Uranopolis. And Heraclides Lembus speaks concerning him in the seventh book of his Histories, and says; "Alexarchus, who founded the city Uranopolis, imported many peculiar words and forms of speaking into the language: calling a cock ὀρθροβόας, or he that crows in the morn; and a barber βροτοκέρτης, or one who cuts men; and a drachm he called ἀργυρὶς, a piece of silver; and a chœnix he called ἡμεροτροφὶς, what feeds a man for a day; and a herald he called ἀπύτης, a bawler. And once he wrote a letter to the magistrates of the Cassandrians in this form:[164:2]—Ἀλέξαρχος ὁ μάρμων πρόμοις

[[165]]γαθεῖν. τοὺς ἡλιοκρεῖς οἰῶν οἶδα λιποῦσα θεωτῶν ἔργων κρατήτορας μορσίμῳ τύχᾳ κεκυρωμένας θεοῦ πόγαις χυτλώσαντες αὐτοὺς, καὶ φύλακας ὀριγένεις." But what that letter means I think that even the Pythian Apollo himself could hardly tell. For, as Antiphanes says, in his Cleophanes,—

What is it then to be a tyrant, (or
What would you call pursuing serious things,)
In the Lyceum with the sophists; by Jove,
They are but thin and hungry joyless men.
And say the thing does not exist if now
It is produced; for that is not as yet,
Nor can already be produced, which now
Is caused afresh. Nor if it did exist
Before, can it be now made to exist.
For there is nothing which has no existence.
And that which never yet has taken place,
Is not as if it had, since it has not.
For it exists from its existence; but
If there is no existence, what is there
From which it can exist? The thing's impossible.
And if it's self-existent, it will not
Exist again. And one perhaps may say,
Let be; whence now can that which has no being
Exist, what can become of it? What all this means
I say that e'en Apollo's self can't tell.

55. I know too that Simonides the poet, somewhere or other, has called Jupiter Ἀρίσταρχος, (meaning ἄριστος ἄρχων, best of rulers;) and Æschylus calls Pluto Ἀγησίλαος, (from ἄγειν τὸν λαὸν, collecting the people;) and Nicander the Colophonian called the asp, the animal, ἰοχέαιρα, poisonous, (from ἰὸs, poison, and χέω, to emit; though the word is usually applied to Diana in the sense of shooting arrows, because ἰὸs also means an arrow.)

And it is on account of these tricks and others like them that the divine Plato, in his Politics, after having said that some animals live on the dry land, and others in the water, and also, that there are some classes which are fed on dry food, others on moist food, and others which graze, giving the names of ξηροβατικὰ and ὑγροβατικὰ, and again, of ξηροτροφικὰ, ὑγροτροφικὰ and ξηρονομικὰ to the different kinds of animals, according as they live on the land, or in the water, or in the air—adds, by way of exhortation to those manufacturers of names to guard against novelty, the following sentence, word for word:—"And if you take care not to appear too anxious in making new names you will continue to old

[[166]]age with a greater reputation for prudence." But I know that Herodes Atticus, a rhetorician, named the piece of wood which was put through his wheels when he was going in his chariot down steep places, τροχοπέδης, (as a fetter to the wheels.) Although Simaristus, in his Synonymes, had already given this piece of wood the name of ἐποχλεὺς, or the drag. And Sophocles the poet, in some one of his works, called a guardian a bolt, saying—