The first step toward making yourself magnetic is to build up your health. Vigorous health, coupled with a right mental attitude, an optimistic, hopeful, cheerful, happy mind, will increase your magnetism wonderfully.
A person having robust health radiates an atmosphere of strength, a suggestion of vigor and courage, while one who lacks vitality drains from others instead of giving to them. Physical force and abounding joyousness of health help to create a magnetic, forceful personality. The man with buoyant, alert mind, with a sparkle in his eye and elasticity in his step, the man who is bubbling over with abundant physical vitality, has a tremendous advantage over those who are devitalized and are weak physically.
To be magnetic you must face life in the right way. Pessimism, selfishness, a sour disposition, lack of sympathy and enthusiasm—all of these tend to destroy personal magnetism. It is a hopeful, optimistic, sunny, sane, large-hearted person who radiates the kind of personal magnetism we all admire, the kind that commands attention, that attracts and holds all sorts of people.
Above all if you want to have a magnetic, attractive personality, cultivate the heart qualities. Intellect, brain power, has little, if anything to do with personal magnetism. It is the lovable, not the intellectual, qualities that draw and hold people. You must make people feel your sympathy, feel that they have met a real man or a real woman. Don’t greet people with a stiff, conventional, “How do you do?” or “Glad to meet you,” without any feeling, any sentiment in it. Be a good mixer and adapt yourself to different dispositions. Look every person you meet squarely in the eye and make him feel your personality. Give him a glad hand, with a smile and a kind word which will make him remember that he has come in contact with a real force, which will make him glad to meet you again.
If you would be popular, you must cultivate cordiality. You must fling the door of your heart wide open, and not, as many do, just leave it ajar a little, as much as to say to people you meet, “You may peep in a bit, but you cannot come in until I know whether you will be a desirable acquaintance.” A great many people are stingy of their cordiality. They seem to reserve it for some special occasion or for intimate friends. They think it is too precious to give out to everybody.
Do not be afraid to open your heart; fling the door of it wide open. Get rid of all reserve; do not meet a person as though you were afraid of making a mistake and doing what you would be glad to recall.
You will be surprised to see what this warm, glad handshake and cordial greeting will do in creating a bond of good-will between you and the person you meet. He will say to himself, “Well, there is really an interesting personality. I want to know more about this lady or gentleman. This is an unusual greeting. This person sees something in me, evidently, which most people do not see.”
Some people give you a shudder, and you feel cold chills creep over you when they take hold of your hand. There is no warmth in their grasp, no generosity, no friendliness, no real interest in you. It is all a cold-blooded proceeding, and you can imagine you hear one of these chilling individuals say to himself, “Well, what is there in this person for me? Can he send me clients, patients or customers? If he does not possess money, has he influence or a pull with influential people? Can he help or interest me in any way? If not, I can not afford to bother with him.”
Cultivate the habit of being cordial, of meeting people with a warm, sincere greeting, with an open heart; it will do wonders for you. You will find that the stiffness, diffidence and indifference, the cold lack of interest in everybody which now so troubles you will disappear. People will see that you really take an interest in them, that you really want to know, please and interest them. The practice of cordiality will revolutionize your social power. You will develop attractive qualities which you never before dreamed you possessed.