April 2, 1519
Again, my health is failing rapidly. I can not continue my work with my treatises. I can not write my journal. Sometimes I can not speak. My vision is going. Francesco and I had begun to bring ends together; I had hoped for days ahead because there is so much to accomplish.
At night, in my room, the walls become a mural of Amboise, the manor house, the Loire, old bridges, royalty, paintings, rearing horses, Francesco, wings, rocks, caves, Galilean faces...like maddened bees.
Cloux
April 3
Yes, most of my years were years without sexual intimacy. I experienced ecstasy but it was often bitter later on. So, I comforted myself with sham comfort. I gained time through my solitary living and lost time that could have made me more human.
Yes, I had a woman for three years.
My own illegitimacy was often slammed at me...bastard da Vinci...that stigma harms the mind.
Dedicate?