"It ain't any trouble to get along in Europe, whether you know the language or not," said the man who had been on a "personally conducted." "Take Germany, for instance. One day I wanted a drink, and I went into one of the gardens and said to the waiter: 'Look here, old man, I'm dry; do you understand? Dry!' and the next minute he came back with three beers."
Mrs. Smith—"I'm afraid you'll have to look for a new place the first of the month, Bridget." Fat Bridget—"What fur, Ma'am?" Mrs. Smith—"Mr. Smith objects to so much waste in the kitchen." Fat Bridget—"Lor, Ma'am, if that's all, I'll lace mesilf widin an inch of my life."
"I want you to come and dine with me," said John to Pat, "though I can only offer you a nice piece of beef and boiled potatoes." "Don't make the laist apology about the dinner," said Pat, "it's the very same I should have had at home, barrin' the bafe."
"You must find that impediment in your speech rather inconvenient at times, Mr. Brown."
"Oh, n-o—everyb-body has his little p-peculiarity. Stammering is m-m-mine; what is y-yours?"
"Well, really, Mr. Brown, I am not aware that I have any."
"W-which hand d-do you stir y-your tea with?"