"That was the first instance I ever knew," remarked Mr. Stockton in telling the story, "of anybody really speaking with baited breath."


Smith—"Did you ever see a woman trying to pull a cork out of a bottle, colonel?"

Col. Drinker—"No, suh; and no gentleman will stand idly by and see a lady struggling to take a cork out of a bottle. It takes her too long, suh?"


Wife—"We have been married twelve years, and not once during that time have I missed baking you a cake for your birthday. Have I dear?"

Hubby—"No, my pet I look back upon those cakes as milestones in my life."


Jones—"You don't usually say grace at meals?"

Bones—"No; only when the minister is present."