Jones—"Ah, I see. He not alone graces the occasion, but he occasions the grace."
Doctor—"My dear young lady, you are drinking unfiltered water, which swarms with animal organisms. You should have it boiled; that will kill them."
Patient—"Well, doctor, I think I'd sooner be an aquarium than a cemetery."
A tiny girl of seven gave a dinner party the other day, for which twelve covers were laid, and that number of small maidens sat down to dine. It was a real little girl's dinner, and the little hostess herself presided, sitting at the head of the table. She had been very anxious, in looking forward to it, to do everything as it should be done.
"Mamma," she asked, "shall we say grace?"
"No," said mamma, "it will be a very informal dinner, and I think you need not do that."
That meant one less ceremony to be gone through, and was a relief, but the little lady was anxious to have all her small guests understand it. So, as they were gathered about the table, she explained:
"Mamma says this is such an infernal dinner that we need not have grace today."