"Yes, you do," said the guest, pointing to the bill of fare—"Oeufs a la Aurore—culottes a la royale sacque veloute—compote de bon cretiens—bouchee de dames."
"All right," said the waiter—"ready in two minutes, sir."
"Patrick, you were on a bad spree yesterday."
"Yis, Mr. Ellis, I was. Bless me if I weren't a-layin' in the gutter wid a pig. Father Ryan came along, looked at me, and says says he 'One is known by the company he kapes."
"And did you get up, Patrick?"
Gladstone was a marvelous conversationalist and particularly alive at dinner parties, where, by the way, in his more vigorous days, he came rightly near monopolizing the conversation. Two well-known men about town who prided themselves on their ability to be interesting at the dinner table were invariably eclipsed when Gladstone was present. No matter what the subject broached, before it had proceeded far, the G. O. M. forged to the front, and by his familiarity with the question, became the focus of all eyes and ears. Tired of being thus overshadowed, the gentlemen referred to hit upon a plan for getting even, at least for the once. Selecting an abstruse and very unfamiliar subject, they delved into the Encyclopædia Britannica and thoroughly posted themselves. The question was one on which scientists differed and so the conspirators took opposite sides, each prepared to maintain his view. At a convenient moment during the next dinner when they met Mr. Gladstone, the subject was sprung and immediately the two disputants went at it, hammer and tongs. For some time the fight raged hotly, no one else venturing to take part in the discussion. The trick was working capitally and the triumphant pair cast congratulating looks at one another. Mr. Gladstone hadn't spoken a word. Finally the hostess, in a momentary lull in the conflict, said: "What are your views about this matter, Mr. Gladstone; which do you think right now?" "There is very little choice," returned the sly old fox, turning with a good natured smile to the disputants, "I made up my mind as to that when I wrote the article on the subject in the Encyclopædia Britannica, which, by the way, gentlemen, I see you have been studying very carefully." There was a moment of embarassing silence and then a roar. The conspirators acknowledged themselves fairly beaten and since then they allow Mr. Gladstone the floor whenever he signifies a wish to occupy it.