The dinner in private house or club where the ladies are at table during the toasts, is perhaps the most trying of all ordeals to the man not blessed with nerve.
Toasts at dinner which are given in honor of some special guest are necessarily of the most informal kind. A bit of interesting personal reminiscence, with as much of the ego eliminated as possible, a good story (always and always the good story) a compliment to the guest of honor a few well chosen words (never fulsome) of praise for host and hostess, and in closing a few lines complimentary to the ladies. This pre-supposes one is expected to give a somewhat extended toast. Ordinarily a story is sufficient. On one point never make a mistake—sit down before your friends have had quite enough of you, never keep on talking until the ladies vote you a bore and the men something more decided.
The host should be the real toastmaster, though his formidable title is concealed under the informal manner in which he draws out his guests. At such a dinner the talks are very short; and generally between courses, as no one can enter on a long dissertation and eat his dinner. Later when the dessert is removed, and the coffee, cigars and liqueurs brought in, the toasts come. If the guest of honor is a traveler the host may start him on his favorite topic by asking: "What do you consider the most dangerous journey you ever took?" Then naturally will follow tales of wrecks, floods, hold-ups, trains missed, traveling in different countries, etc. If the host knows that Jones has the star story and is too modest to assert himself, it is his duty to call on Jones, not in a marked way, but easily, gracefully, helping him along by well-put questions until Jones forgets his embarassment and that he is telling a story.
A man at a formal dinner assigned to "take in" a lady whom he has never met before, should take his conversational cue from her—no Chinese desecration, of course—and thereby avoid pitfalls to which the diffident and embarrassed are often led. Besides, it is woman's admitted privilege to "do all the talking," and she best gives the key note at dinners.
For the informal dinner, be natural, good-natured and jolly. As ready to listen and to laugh heartily at the jokes of others as to talk.
Do not keep silent because you have no spread eagle oration at command, your friends do not expect it. Tell your own interesting experiences, always remembering how tiresome the repetition of the capital "I" becomes.
Avoid telling jokes at the expense of another guest present. This may do at a stag supper, but an enemy may be made by making a friend ridiculous before the ladies.
Make your talk very brief and in telling a story get to the point quickly without dragging in an endless number of uninteresting details.
After you have told your story and made your hit, be content to give others a chance even if you have a host of good stories at command.
If Brown is present do not steal his best story and tell it in his presence; he will not thank you if you do.