FAITH AND DUTY.
In the days of our forefathers, we had a most excellent compendium of Faith and Duty, called the "Church Catechism," which taught us not only to "fear God and honour the King," but to be "true and just in all our dealings." The "fast and loose," "free and easy" system of "liberality," shuts the Creed and the Catechism out of half our schools; and worldliness teaches in its place the creed of Mammon. Instead of being taught to worship God, we are taught to worship money. Instead of honouring the Queen, we are told to bow down to the "golden image" which trade has set up; we no longer consult our conscience, but our pocket; for principle we read interest—for piety, pelf.
In illustration of this, the following "cut and dry" "'Change Catechism," which fell from the pocket of a Latitudinarian bill-broker, is subjoined, as affording the best examples of the Rule of Interest.
QUESTION AND ANSWER.
- Q. My good child, tell me what you believe in?
- A. Money.
- Q. What is money?
- A. The all-ruling and all-powerful; the fountain of worldly wisdom and power.
- Q. How is it worshipped?
- A. By the daily sacrifice of time, talents, health, and virtue.
- Q. What is this worship called?
- A. Mammon.
- Q. What is its chief rite?
- A. Gammon.
- Q. What is the chief ceremony?
- A. Deceit.
- Q. What are its principal festivals?
- A. Dividend-days.
- Q. What are its days of penance or fasting?
- A. Days when no business is done.
- Q. What are its feast-days?
- A. City "Feeds."
- Q. Where are its principal temples?
- A. The Treasury, the 'Change, and the Bank.
- Q. Who are its priests?
- A. Whitewashed "black-legs."[3]
- Q. What is virtue?
- A. A name.
- Q. What is Orthodoxy?
- A. Cash.
- Q. What is Heterodoxy?
- A. Bills.
- Q. What is Heresy?
- A. "No effects."
- Q. What is Schism?
- A. "Call again to-morrow."
- Q. What is Respectability?
- A. Plenty of trade.
- Q. What is Roguery?
- A. Being in debt.
- Q. What is Vice?
- A. Misfortune.
- Q. What is the greatest sin?
- A. Poverty.
- Q. What is the principal virtue?
- A. Prompt payment.
- Q. What are the principal blessings?
- A. Loans.
- Q. What should be our continual desire?
- A. Good luck.
- Q. For what our rejoicings?
- A. Success.
- Q. What is Morality?
- A. Cent. per cent. profits.
- Q. What is the Origin of evil?
- A. A returned bill.
- Q. What is the greatest evil?
- A. Bankruptcy.
- Q. What is our chance of escape from perdition?
- A. "Taking the benefit."
- Q. What is the Devil?
- A. To be without money.
- Q. Who are the chosen children of Mammon?
- A. Those born with a "silver spoon."
- Q. What is the true definition of good?
- A. Solvency.
- Q. What is the true definition of bad?
- A. Insolvency.
- Q. What is your duty to your friend?
- A. To cheat him.
- Q. What to the stranger?
- A. To "take him in."
- Q. What is Experimental Philosophy?
- A. Going a borrowing.
- Q. What is practical philosophy?
- A. Being refused.
- Q. What should be your chief consolation in old age?
- A. Dying rich.
- Q. What is the chief maxim of this creed?
- A. Doing every one, but suffering no one to do you.
RULE X.
BILLS.
