RULE XI.
DECIMALS.
Decimal Fractions are so called because the fractions are always tenths. They differ from Vulgar Fractions in this, that the denominator is not written, but a point before it is used instead.
A STRONG TITHE.
Decimals are best illustrated by tithes, which are general and universal tenths extracted in every part of "merry England." They are added, subtracted, multiplied, and divided like any other numbers, but to designate their value a point is prefixed.
In tithes, as in decimals, the denominator does not appear; that is to say, the incumbent rarely lives at his incumbency. When tithes are to be added, taken, or subtracted, the tithodecimo point is used as his representative, namely, the POINT OF THE BAYONET.
To make a point of "doing good by stealth" is a national virtue; and among all other "points" in this uncertain world, the "point blank" is the most certain. This may be made with a rifle, when the pockets are to be rifled, either with or without a bayonet at the end of it. The charge for spiritual care is best settled by a charge of dragoons; and a discharge of clerical arrears by a discharge of fire-arms.[4]
TO REDUCE MONEY WEIGHTS AND MEASURES TO DECIMALS.
Take a tithe-owner, a collector, a proctor's warrant, and a constable, and go in a body to the house of a Quaker, or the mud hovel of an Irish Catholic. Enter the house by means of a crow-bar. Take pigs, poultry, pots, pans, sticks, or rattletraps. Obtain an appraiser, call in a broker, and divide the spoil by means of any number of vulgar fractions, called purchasers. Take the dividend, called plunder, and "pocket."