They shall not despair,
Nor hang, drown, or strangle,
We Whigs will strike up
Our tinkling triangle.
And should this not do,
In arms should they come,
We'll frighten them soon
By a roll of the drum!
Practising for the Army.—As shooting and slaying are the legitimate objects of this profession, you cannot begin too early. The first instrument to be used is a pea-shooter; this is for the age P.C. previous to corderoys. The second is a pop-gun, indicating the age of breeches (and breaches). From this we arise to "sparrow-shooting," after the ruse de guerre of the salt-box has been tried without effect. Being now grown bloody-minded, we go to that sanguiniferous-looking house at Battersea, called the Red House, (being of a blood colour, from the enormous slaughter committed near it,) and here we take lessons in pigeon-shooting. From hence to the Shooting Gallery, Pall Mall, we improve rapidly. A lieutenancy in the Guards is our next step. To this succeeds a dispute respecting the glottis of Mademoiselle Catasquallee, and "Chalk-Farm" or "Wimbledon Common" is the result; and here, unless courage should ooze out of our fingers' ends, we may stop; our courage is apparent, and for the future we may shoot with the "long-bow" to all eternity without fear of contradiction.