Should it be necessary for you to speak of some one smoking tobacco, do not call that substance a weed, or the act of using it “blowing a cloud.”
When an acquaintance pays you a visit, take care, in rising to receive him, not to appear to be washing your hands, and, should you be engaged in writing at the time, place your pen on the table, or in the inkstand, and not behind your ear.
Observe, when your tailor comes to measure you, the way in which he wears his hair, and should your own style in this particular unfortunately resemble his, be sure to alter it immediately.
Never dance à la cuisinière, that is to say, do not cut capers.
Eschew large shirt pins.
Be not guilty of patent leather boots.
Never say “Ma’am” or “Miss,” in addressing a young lady. If you cannot contrive to speak to her without doing so, say nothing.
In conversation, especially in female society, beware of indulging in jocose expressions, or witticisms, on the subject of executions. If it be necessary to remark that such and such a person expiated his crimes on the scaffold, content yourself with simply mentioning the circumstance, and do not make any attempt to illustrate your meaning by dropping your head on your right shoulder, and jerking up your neckcloth under your left ear.
Never, under any circumstances, let the abbreviation “gent.” for gentleman, escape the enclosure of your teeth. Above all things, for the sake of whatever you hold most dear, never say “me and another gent.”
It may happen, that a youthful acquaintance may so far forget himself as to talk of giving another “monkey’s allowance, more kicks than half-pence.” You, of course, will never dream of giving utterance to such language, nor will any inducement, it is to be hoped, ever prevail upon you to say, as an unthinking young friend once did, hearing the above threat made, “that you prefer kicks (meaning thereby sixpences) to half-pence.” In general avoid all low wit.