DREAMS
Says Captain Peek to Company Two,
"Let's have an exam to-day;
"So get your rifles and bayonet, boys,
"And fall in right away.
"Line up whenever you're ready to go;
"At route step do squads right:
"Light up your pipes, roll up your sleeves,
"We'll try to make this light."
With joyful faces they march to parade,
Fall out and rest on the grass.
"Will someone please perform right face?
"We'll let slight errors pass."
Then Captain Peek shuts up that book
"I won't give one black mark.
"Officers, beat it; get the hook!
"I'll drill you right till dark.
"You seem to know the drill all right;
"Don't bother about those maps;
"Put on your 'civies' as fast as you can,
"And don't come back for taps."
'Twill be thus perhaps in a happier land,
When they've run that American drive,
Where we drill in white all armed with harps;
But not while our Cap's alive.
A 2nd REGIMENT "WHO'S WHO"
Major Collins is careful of
His regiment's health.
Lemonade and other things,
Taken on march,
Have been known to cause
Soldiers to die, and pie?
Perish the suggestion! 'Tis
Safe to bet the major
Was not born in New England.
If in a deep wood or desert vast
One would never be lost
With Captain Barnes. He knows
How to orient the landscape
By sun or star.
Lieutenant Meyer is tall,
He holds his hat on
By a strap
Under his chin.
A cyclone couldn't blow it off.
Captain Latrobe came on
From Texas way,
"Sif bofe" his saddle
And himself. He might as well
Have saved the freight on the saddle,
For he has no horse to ride on.
He leads his steedless troop
On charger invisible.
Arnold, Major now, fares better.
His horse is real
And has white feet.
Do not talk to his
Command while it is marching,
Nor count for the men, or
The winning smile will
Turn into a volcano,
And you will be reduced to
A shapeless mass. Beware!
Carr's horse is black,
And a beauty, too,
But neighs out loud; hence
Never should be used to patrol.
The enemy would listen, and
Know you were near.
The straightest man
On horseback is,
Doubtless, Wainwright;
And he doesn't lean backward to do it, either.
Matthews has a deep voice;
No ear trumpet is needed to hear his commands.
He believes in exercise.
His men should be able to
Throw Samson or Sandow,
If they are not dead
By August Eleventh.
Waldron knows how to patrol—
At least he wrote a book
For thirty cents.
He next should write a book on how
To spot a periscope when we cross the sea.
If we don't know that, we'll never
Spot anything else
But bubbles on the ocean's face.
Capt. Goodwyn just came up
From Panama, and brought
Chivalry with him.
It's as hot here as there,
But he is showing us how
To make it hotter
For certain people
To the eastward.
There is a fat Q.M.,
Whose name is
Unknown, but not his form.
Once seen
Never forgotten;
He must have
The keys to the ice-box.