ON THE BANKS OF THE RIVER RHINE
(Air: "Through Those Wonderful Glasses of Mine")
Germany, we're coming over, we are going straight to France;
We are praying for a chance,
Just to make your soldiers dance.
Kaiser Bill, your doom is coming; take a tip, old top, RESIGN!
For we'll drink beer in June,
By the light of the moon,
On the banks of the River Rhine.
"THE SIMULATING OF THE GREEN"
(Air: "Wearing of the Green")
Oh, Major dear, and did you hear the news that's going round?
We Cavalry must simulate till horses can be found;
We gallop and we single-foot as handsome as can be,
But on our own two feet we ride—a horse you'll never see.
'Tis the most amazing spectacle that's ever graced the green;
A hundred men a-riding where no horses can be seen.
Oh, Colonel dear, ye'll grieve to hear Artillery's the same,
Compared to simulating guns, a horse is rather tame;
Last night I was the left rear wheel—it made me moighty sore,
But dommed if I will be the swab and crawl inside the bore.
'Tis the most amazing spectacle that's ever graced the green,
A-firing rounds and salvos where no cannons can be seen.