THE MASTER-PIECE.
THE MATRIMONIAL STATE CONSIDERED.
The subject of Matrimony is one of deep interest to both sexes: and it behoves every one before marriage to study it with the most serious attention, and ponder over it with an earnest desire to acquire a full knowledge of its duties, responsibilities, and enjoyments. It is an attractive subject to both male and female, except those who subscribe to the principles of Malthus; and old bachelors and old maids are looked upon with contempt and scorn by the generality of young people. Celibacy is regarded now with different views from that with which it used to be some centuries back; and this change is perceptible in some portions of the Romish church. The celibacy of the priesthood is not now insisted on with that strictness which was the case in former times. Marriage is considered the legitimate and proper order of things: husband and wife the relative condition of male and female, and celibacy ought to be, if possible, avoided.
It is our intention to examine the subject in regard to the prejudicial influence which arises from the false steps which are often taken in matrimonial alliances; the original appointment of marriage; and the happy state of matrimony when in strict accordance with that which was originally appointed; with other subjects connected with Love and Marriage.
CHAPTER I.
FALSE STEPS IN MATRIMONIAL ALLIANCES.
When we peruse the yearly returns which are furnished by the Registrar General of the marriages which have taken place in our own country, we are forcibly struck with the many false steps which have been taken by both males and females, even in one year. Parties joined together of the most unequal ages—May and December—plainly declare that there are other motives actuating the one or the other, in the step taken, than the one that should always be predominant at the hymeneal altar.
Another list in the Registrar’s Return will show us what numbers enter the marriage state long before they have come to the age of maturity. In Oriental countries the custom is to marry at an early age; but there the climate, it is said, has an influence on the human frame which earlier developes the state of puberty than is the case in our own northern clime; and that in those countries human decay commences earlier than it does in Europe. Still we hesitate not to say, that early marriages even in hot climates, are injudicious. We are not advocating marriages taking place between the sexes when the vigour and stamina have begun to decay; on the other hand, we would say, that early marriages are preferable to those contracted when the bloom of youth has passed away. But when those are joined together who are not physiologically prepared for the requirements and enjoyments of the matrimonial state, they attempt that for which nature has not fitted them, and impair their physical organs, debilitate their vital powers, and exhaust their strength. We would, therefore, caution our readers not to marry too young.
Another false step taken by those who enter the marriage state is one that requires great discrimination and judgment to avoid: we allude to the bodily or mental disqualification of the one or the other for the true enjoyment of that state. What misery has been experienced by thousands for want of a thorough knowledge of each other bodily and mentally before the knot was tied. The Divorce Court has been, and is, crowded with applicants for redress, who are the victims of their own folly, and who rushed into the connubial state without having a clear and perfect understanding of each other’s qualifications for rendering the marriage state one of enjoyment.
Again, much misery is often productive of the want of a thorough knowledge of the temper and disposition of each other before the consummation of marriage. The lover finds in the object adored, all perfection; and neglects to view this object in its true light, until the irrevocable vow is uttered, and wedded life reveals the unwholesome truth that the temper and disposition of the one, or the other, or both, are of such a nature as to render the domestic hearth any thing but pleasant.
Again, a common error committed by those wishing to enter the marriage state, is that of being dazzled and decoyed by the beauty of the object sought. The beauty of the face is not among women one of universal agreement, as is generally supposed. Voltaire has said, “Ask a toad what is handsome, and he will answer, ‘My mate, with his big eyes and slimy skin.’” The negro’s type of beauty, no doubt, consists in a blackness equal to his own; but is there no specific and positive state of perfection, regularity, harmony, organization, in each species? Have not all their ideas of beauty, independent of the preferences or prepossessions of others? The face of a woman is a mirror of the affections of her soul, as has been often remarked, but the fact has not yet been promulgated, that the different features of a face indicate a particular species of affection.