Again, an error frequently committed by those anxious to enter the matrimonial life is that of seeking for wealth, not the true enjoyment of domestic happiness. Alas! what numbers have made fatal shipwreck by being dashed to pieces, like Sinbad, on this loadstone rock! The man that wishes to find the true enjoyment of married life should not look for a large dower along with the partner of his life, but for a woman of a virtuous, well-educated, and amiable disposition. Such a partner will be of more value than all the gold that has been discovered in California, Australia, and all the other El Dorados yet heard of. But although the lover should not be actuated by an inordinate craving after wealth, still there should be a due foresight exercised to provide for a proper maintenance before entering the marriage state. Many couples get united together before they have provided a home of their own wherein to dwell, and are therefore compelled to be dependent upon others, for a habitation. This is a sad state of things; and has frequently been the cause of embittering the married life of those who would otherwise have enjoyed much of its sweets.
Again, another error which is often committed by those entering the married state, is that of an utter disregard for the tastes and inclinations of each other. For want of due appreciation of the unity of feeling on this subject much unhappiness has been experienced by husband and wife. The husband, perhaps, has a taste for a particular class of literature, and takes a delight in perusing his favourite authors, whilst the wife takes a pleasure in reading works of quite a different description altogether, and persists in maintaining her judgment in opposition to that of her husband, hence unpleasant bickerings and recriminations take place. And as their tastes disagree in regard to the food for the mind, so also they disagree in regard to the food for the body. What she likes, he dislikes, and what he likes, she dislikes. It behoves every one, entering the matrimonial state to have a perfect understanding, and a reciprocity in taste and inclination with each other.
Again, another error into which many fall who are entering the wedded life, is a departure from that candour and uprightness which ought to govern and actuate mankind in every transaction of daily life but more especially in the important one now under consideration. What lamentable consequences have resulted from the deception and subterfuge which have been practised by both male and female, when about to be joined together in the holy bands of wedlock! The man who would deceive the partner whom he vows to cherish and comfort, or the woman who would practice deception on him whom she vows to honour and obey, deserve to taste the bitter fruit of their own sin and folly. It should ever be known by those who are about to become man and wife, that every matter which they are anxious to conceal before marriage, will, very probably, be disclosed at one time or another; and perhaps disclosed in such a way so as to make the secret appear of ten times more importance than it really is. Unbosom every secret, confide in each other; and be assured that, whatever may be the consequence, a clear conscience, truth, and uprightness will comfort and sustain you in every trouble.
CHAPTER II.
THE ORIGINAL APPOINTMENT OF MARRIAGE.
The Author of our being, when he formed the first pair of human beings, left them not to the mere instincts of nature, as he did in the case of the inferior animals; but for them he especially instituted the contract of marriage; so that marriage is a divine appointment. At the Almighty’s command the waters brought forth in abundance; myriads of fishes swam in the sea; innumerable birds of every description winged their way in the firmament; animals of all kinds, from the gigantic elephant to the smallest creature imaginable, wandered up and down on the earth, and every kind of creeping thing; the largest of the feathered tribe built nests on the inaccessible cliffs; the lion and the tiger, with other ferocious beasts, prowled the forests; cattle and sheep and the mild animals cropped the herbage; the dove chose her mate; the nightingale warbled her song; the small insects, to which the leaf was a world, and the minute animalcule, whose universe was a water-drop—all were formed by the Almighty—and He commanded that they were to “Be fruitful, and multiply, in the earth.”
It was different, however, with regard to the human family. As the members of that family were formed with an elaboration not displayed in other departments of creation, as their structure was different from that of any other creature, as man was formed from the dust of the earth, and God breathed into him the breath of life, as the woman was made from a portion of the man—bone of his bone, and flesh of his flesh,—consequently there was a difference in the way in which they were directed to fulfil the great purpose of their creation, namely, to replenish the earth.
The Almighty declared that it was not good for man to be alone, therefore woman was formed for an helpmeet for him. Throughout the teeming earth, the blue expanse, and the deep water, there was not a creature but what had found a mate; our first parent stood alone, without the society of one bearing his nature—isolated from the company of one with whom he could hold converse, and who could share in the enjoyments of the happy sphere in which he was at first placed. The Great Creator made woman, brought them together, and instituted marriage. Equal power and dominion over the inferior creatures was given to the woman, as that exercised by the man; and it was not until the disobedience and sin of our first parents, that the original order of things was changed, and that anything was heard of the subjection of Eve to Adam.
The institution of Marriage was a wise and judicious arrangement, and peculiarly adapted to the position of the human race. It was of the greatest consequence to man that he should have a companion, a friend, a wife; and for this purpose it was ordained that a man should leave his father and mother, and cleave unto his own wife, and they twain should be one flesh.
In what emphatic language is the union of husband and wife enforced: “they twain shall be one flesh.” For the future their joys and their sorrows are to be identical. They are not separate individuals as two male persons are considered, but male and female—wife and husband—one. Alas! how frequently is this oneness marred and broken—a diversity of interest and feeling appears to exist between many married couples, and how often the adage of, “a house divided against itself cannot stand,” is verified. It would be well if such couples would oftener remember the solemn injunction—“they twain shall be one flesh.” It seems to an observer, that if such couples ever loved one another, they lavished and exhausted that love in the early days of marriage, and filled up the void by feelings of enmity and strife. This ought not to be the state of a domestic household; for though the wife may be possessed of the key of every drawer and cupboard in the house, if she does not possess the key of her husband’s heart, she is destitute of that which is of more value to her than every other earthly treasure. The husband may be affectionate, kind, and respectful to his wife, but if she is not identical with himself, the depository and confidante of all his feelings and aspirations, there is something amiss. It is an impossibility for married people to love and trust each other too much, and as impossible for them to feel a strong and deep affection for each other, if they do not consider their interests to be identical.
