Another time I fancy myself in the rôle of a paid lover of an elderly female roué, who makes use of me, sexually, in the most reckless manner; and in this direction makes the most shameful demands on me. If I do not submit to these willingly, I am beaten and punished; and, at the same time, she despises me unspeakably; gives me the lowest housework to do; and on every occasion shows me how low an opinion she has of my manhood.
I cannot clothe the character of masochism in any better formula than the following: A real masochist, without reflection, prefers the kick of a low woman to the embrace of a Venus.
5. In reading Sacher-Masoch, it struck me that in masochists, now and then, there was also an undercurrent of sadistic feeling. Too, I have now and then discovered in myself sporadic feelings of sadism. I must remark, however, that the sadistic feelings are not so marked as the masochistic; and that, aside from the fact that they are infrequently accessory, the sadistic fancies never leave the sphere of abstract feeling, and, above all, never take the form of concrete, connected ideas (like those above mentioned). The effect on libido, however, is the same with both.
If this case is remarkable on account of the complete development of the psychical state that constitutes masochism, the following one is noteworthy because of the great extravagance of the acts resulting from the perversion. The case is also particularly suited to make clear the reason for the subjection and humiliation at the hands of the woman, and the peculiar sexual coloring of the resulting situations:—
Case 51. Masochism.—Mr. Z., official, aged 50; tall, muscular, healthy. He is said to come of healthy parentage, but his father was thirty years older than his mother. A sister, two years older than Z., suffers with delusions of persecution. There is nothing remarkable in Z.’s external appearance. Skeleton entirely masculine; abundant beard, but no hair on trunk. He characterizes himself as a man of sanguine temperament, whom no one can depress; though irascible and quick-tempered, he is quick to regret outbursts.
Z. says he has never masturbated. From his youth there have been nightly pollutions, in which girls play a part; but the sexual act, never. For example, he dreams that a pleasing woman lies heavily on him, or that, as he lies sleeping on the grass, she playfully walks up his back. Z. had always been averse to coitus with a woman. This act seemed animal to him. Nevertheless, he was drawn to women. It was only in the society of beautiful women and girls that he felt well and in his place. He was very gallant without being forward.
A voluptuous woman of beautiful form, and particularly with a pretty foot, when seated, had the power to throw him into intense excitement. He was impelled to offer himself as a chair, in order “to offer so much devotion.” A kick, a box on the ear from her, would be heaven to him. He had a horror at the thought of coitus with her. He felt the need to serve the woman. He thought how ladies liked to ride. He reveled in the thought of how fine it would be to be wearied by the burden of a beautiful woman, in order to give her pleasure. He painted the situation in all colors; thought of the beautiful foot armed with spurs, the beautiful legs, and the soft, full thighs. Every beautiful mature woman, every pretty female foot, always excited his imagination; but he never betrayed the peculiar feelings that seemed to him abnormal, and was able to control himself. But he felt no need to fight against them; on the contrary, it would have hurt him had he been compelled to give up the feelings that had become so dear to him.
At the age of thirty-two Z. happened to make the acquaintance of an attractive woman, aged twenty-seven, who had been separated from her husband, and whom he found in need. He took her, and worked for her, without any selfish motive, for months. One evening she impatiently demanded sexual satisfaction from him, and almost used violence. Coitus was successful. Z. took the woman, lived with her, and indulged in coitus moderately; but coitus was more a burden than a pleasure; erections became weak, and he could no longer satisfy the woman. She finally declared that she would not have intercourse with him, because he only excited without satisfying her. Though he loved the woman very much, he could not give up his peculiar fancies. After this he lived with her only in friendly relations, and deeply regretted that he could not serve her in the way she desired.
Fear of how she would receive his propositions, and a feeling of shame, kept him from confessing. He found a substitute in his dreams. Thus, for example, he dreamed that he was a proud, fiery steed, ridden by a beautiful lady. He, felt her weight, the bit he had to obey, the pressure of the thighs on his flanks; he heard her beautiful, joyous voice. The exertion threw him into a perspiration; the touch of the spurs did the rest, and always induced pollution with great lustful pleasure. At other times be dreamed that he was a small, weak horse. Then a large, heavy woman came and mounted the horse, and set off on a long journey in the mountains. Recklessly, and without mercy, she allowed the poor animal to feel her weight; she made herself comfortable on his back; while he threatened to give out under her, she had the greatest enjoyment, and with calm mind enjoyed the beautiful scenery. Under the influence of such dreams, seven years ago Z. overcame his reluctance, in order to experience such things in reality. He was successful in creating suitable opportunity. He speaks of it as follows: “I knew how to arrange it so that on an occasion she would, of her own will, seat herself on my back. Then I endeavored to make this situation as pleasant as possible, and easily made it so that on the next occasion she said, spontaneously: ‘Come, give me a little ride!’ Swelling with pride, and with both hands braced on a chair, I made my back horizontal, and she mounted astride, after the manner of a man. I then did the best I could to imitate the movements of a horse, and loved to have her treat me like a horse, without any thought of me. She could beat, prick, scold, or caress me, just as she felt inclined. I could carry on my back persons weighing from sixty to eighty kilos, for half or three-quarters of an hour, without interruption. At the end of this time I usually asked for a rest. During this the intercourse between the mistress and me was perfectly harmless and without any relation to what had preceded. After about a quarter of an hour I was always rested, and placed myself at the disposal of the mistress again. When time and circumstances allowed it, I did this three or four times in succession. It sometimes happened that I practiced it both in the morning and afternoon. After it I never felt weary or had any uncomfortable feeling; but on such days I had very little appetite. When possible, I liked best to bare my trunk, that I might feel the rider more perfectly. The mistress had to be decent. I liked her best in pretty shoes and stockings, with short, closed drawers, reaching to the knee; with the upper portion of her person completely dressed, and with hat and gloves.”
Mr. Z. further says that he has not performed coitus in seven years; but he thinks he is potent. The riding was a perfect substitute for that “animal act,” even when ejaculation was not induced.