‘“I’ll shove ye in jail!” roared the guard.

‘“Easy, old child.”

‘“What’s your name?”

‘“My mother christened me Johnson.”

‘“You’re a Canadian, I suppose?”

‘“Yip!”

‘“All right. I’ll show you I’m a Scotsman.”

‘Tosher didn’t get the cigars. He got “Five quid, or twenty-one days,” at the Police Court.’

‘What did he say to that?’ inquired the president.

‘Oh, he reckoned it was gaw-damn stiff that a bloke who was winnin’ the war couldn’t get out of an express for cigars.’