(1.) Those who at their conversion are either ignorant, melancholy, or were grossly scandalous, are usually brought through with great fear and sadness. And this is so observable, that by the mistake of men it is made a general rule that none are converted but they are under great and frightful apprehensions of wrath and dismal terrors. This indeed is true of some, but these ordinarily are the scandalous, melancholy, and ignorant sort—though sometimes God may deal so with others, for who can limit him? Yet are there many whose education hath been good, and their instruction aforehand great, whose conversion is so gradual and insensible, that they are strangers to these troubles of conscience, and profess that if these heights of fear be necessary to conversion, they must be at a loss; neither can they give an account of the time of their conversion, as others may.
(2.) Those whose conversion was easy, when after their conversion they miscarry by any great iniquity, they meet with as great a measure of terror and fear, and some think far greater, as those whose new birth was more difficult. David’s greatest troubles of soul came upon him after he began to appear more public in the world; for then he met with many temptations, and great occasions for God’s exercising his discipline over him. I believe, when he kept his father’s sheep, his songs had more of praises and less of complainings than afterward. It is the opinion of some that God’s dealing in this kind of dispensation, even when miscarriage is not the cause, is more sharp usually to those whose conversion hath been most easy.
(3.) There is another sort of men, to whom God vouchsafes but seldom and short fits of spiritual joy, as breathing times, betwixt sharp fits of soul-trouble, for necessary refreshment and recovery of strength; but the constant course which God holds with them is to exercise them under fears, while he hides his face from them, and suffers Satan to vex them, by urging his objections against their holiness and integrity. Heman was one of this rank, and the great instance which God hath given in his word for the support of others that may be in the same case. For he testifies, Ps. lxxxviii., that he suffered the terrors of God almost to distraction, and this from his youth up. It is not fit for us too narrowly to question why God doth thus to his children, seeing his ‘judgments are unsearchable,’ and his ‘ways past finding out;’ but we may be sure that God sees this dealing to be most fit for those that are exercised therewith. It may be to keep pride from them, or to prevent them from falling into some greater inconvenience or sin, unto which he takes notice of a more than ordinary proneness in their disposition; or for the benefit of others, who may thereby take notice what ‘an evil and bitter thing it is’ to sin against God, and what a malicious adversary they have to deal with. Whoso shall consider these reasons of spiritual sadness, must needs confess, that seeing the advantages which men give to a malicious devil to vex their consciences are so many and great, and the weakness of God’s children so hazardous, for the prevention whereof, a wise, careful Father will necessarily be engaged to exercise his discipline, it cannot be expected but that spiritual troubles should be very frequent among the servants of God.
Quest. Here it is requisite that I give satisfaction to this query. Seeing that God doth sometime wound the consciences of his children, and that Satan also wounds them, what are the differences betwixt God and Satan in inflicting these wounds?
Ans. For the right understanding of this question I shall propound two things:
(1.) That it is a truth that God doth sometimes wound the consciences of his children; and this,
[1.] Before conversion: but in order to it, as preparatory to that change, men are then in their sins, walking in the vanity of their minds. To translate them from this estate he awakens the conscience, shews them their iniquities, and the danger of them, that at present they are ‘in their blood,’ ‘children of wrath, as well as others,’ and that without Christ they are miserable. The effect of this must needs be serious consideration, deep thoughts of heart, with some trouble; only as to the measure and degree there is great difference. God doth not in the particular application of these things to the conscience tie up himself exactly to the same manner and measure of proceeding, though he keep still to his general method. Hence is it that some, in regard of God’s gentle, leisurely dealing, and the frequent interposure of encouragements, are, if compared with the case of others, said to be allured and ‘drawn with cords of love.’ But others have a remarkable measure of trouble, sharp fits of fear and anguish; and those most commonly are such whose conversion is more quick, and the change visible from one extreme to another, as Paul, when converted in the midst of his persecuting rage, or those whose ignorance or melancholy makes their hopes and comforts inaccessible for the present. These troubles God owns to be the work of his Spirit. The same Spirit, which is a ‘Spirit of adoption’ to the converted, is a ‘spirit of bondage’ to these, Rom. viii. 16. And accordingly we find it was so to the converts in Acts ii., who being ‘pricked in their hearts’ by Peter’s sermon, ‘cried out, Men and brethren, what shall we do?’ The like did the jailor. And the promise which God makes of calling the Jews, Zech. xii. 10, doth express God’s purpose of dealing with them in this very method: ‘They shall look upon him whom they have pierced, and shall mourn for him as one that mourneth for his only son, and shall be in bitterness for him; ... in that day shall be a great mourning.’
[2.] God also sometimes wounds the conscience of his children after conversion; and this he doth to convince and humble them for some miscarriage which they become guilty of.[340] As when they grow secure, carnally confident of the continuance of their peace—when they are carelessly negligent of duty and the exercises of their graces—when they fall into gross and scandalous sins, or wilfully desert the ways of truth, and in many more cases of like kind. When his children make themselves thus obnoxious to divine displeasure, then God hides his face from them, takes away his Spirit, signifies his anger to their consciences, threatens them with the danger of that condition, from whence follows grief and fear in the hearts of his people. In this manner God expressed his displeasure to David, as his complaints in Ps. li. do testify: ‘Make me to hear joy and gladness, that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice. Hide thy face from my sins. Cast me not away from thy presence, and take not thy Holy Spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation,’ &c.
(2.) Notwithstanding all this, there is a great difference betwixt God and Satan in this matter, which mainly appears in two things:—
[1.] God doth limit himself in all the trouble which he gives his children, to his great end of doing them good, and healing them, and consequently stints himself in the measure and manner of his work to such a proportion as his wisdom sees will exactly suit with his end. So that his anger is not like the brawlings of malicious persons that know no bounds. He will not ‘always chide;’ his debates are in measure, and this ‘lest the spirit should fail before him,’ Isa. lvii. 16. So that when he wounds the conscience before conversion, it is but to bring them to Christ, and to prevent their taking such courses as might through delusion make them take up their stand short of him. So much of mourning and fear as is requisite for the true effecting of this, he appoints for them, and no more. When he wounds after conversion, it is but to let them feel that it is an evil and bitter thing to sin against him, that their ‘godly sorrow may work repentance’ suitable to the offence, and that they may be sufficiently cautioned for the time to come to ‘sin no more, lest a worse thing befall them.’ He that afflicts not willingly, will put no more grief upon them than is necessary to bring them to this. But Satan, when he is admitted—and God doth often permit him in subservience to his design, to wound the conscience—he proceeds according to the boundless fury of his malice, and plainly manifests that his desire is to destroy and to tread them down that they may never rise again. This though he cannot effect, for God will not suffer him to proceed further than the bringing about his holy and gracious purpose, yet it hinders not but that still his envious thoughts boil up in his breast, and he acts according to his own inclination. For it is with Satan as it is with wicked men. If God employ them for the chastisement of his children, they consider not who sets them on work, nor what measures probably God would have them observe, but they propose to themselves more work than ever God cut out for them; as Assyria, when employed against Jerusalem, Isa. x. 7, had designs more large and cruel than was in God’s commission. God had stinted him in his holy purpose; yet the ‘Assyrian meant not so, neither did his heart think so; but it was in his heart to destroy and cut off nations not a few.’ So that when God is ‘a little displeased,’ as he speaks, Zech. i. 15, they do all that lies in them to help forward the affliction. Thus doth the devil endeavour to make all things worse to God’s children than ever God intended. Here is one difference betwixt God and Satan, in the wounding of consciences. But,